Abelar: Tales of an Ancient Empire

Hydrogen: Hercules: The Missing Bar Fights, starring Mr. Kevin Sorbo!

Trillaphon: I think pineapple Sorbo's my favorite.

Hydrogen: The Kevin flavor is a little too bitter for my taste. Also, pathetic. Well, more pathetic.

Trillaphon: More pathetic than cherry?

Hydrogen: I was going to say "than he already was", but I guess that works too.

Trillaphon: Hard to believe they didn't manage to drag Lucy Lawless into this debacle, too. I applaud her good judgment for staying far the fuck away from this movie, and not just because I don't want to get my balls chopped off by a magical flying frisbee blade.

Hydrogen: Maybe she's just been too busy doing things like working and occasionally being on TV instead.

Trillaphon: Uh, excuse me, that's no way to talk about the man who has 18 fucking projects in some level of production going right now.

Hydrogen: Jesus, he's like Nicolas Cage without the talent/Oscar. At least half of those must be sub-SyFyeyy original quality.

Trillaphon: Goddamn it, now they're going to make us watch all of them. The only thing that'll make me feel better is watching this new stress-relief video of Kevin Sorbo getting punched in the face over and over again.  Payback's a wench:

– Garrett "Hydrogen" Neil and Sean "Trillaphon" Neil (@trillaphon)