Death Laid An Egg
Only an Art Film would waste this title -- not a giant killer chicken to be found.
Lakeview Terrace
'Lakeview Terrace' lets Samuel L. Jackson play Good Cop (sliding whistle up), Bad Cop (sliding whistle down).
The Follies of Al Pacino
With 'Righteous Kill' in theaters and '88 Minutes' new to DVD, this might be the worst week of Al Pacino's career.
Bangkok Dangerous
There's dangerous, and then there's "Bangkok Dangerous," with "Bangkok" apparently translating as "not especially." The movie's terrible, yes, but not for the reasons you might expect.
MIRRORS
Hey guys, were you thinking of seeing "Mirrors" this weekend? Of course you weren't, but SomethingAwful has conveniently explained why!
Star Wars: The Clone Wars
'The Clone Wars' focuses on three central characters, pet-named Sky Guy, Snips and Stinky. And thus the 'Star Wars' franchise burrows deeper into the abyss.
The Ruins
"The Ruins," new to DVD, fails miserably in its attempt to bring real terror to the "green, leafy things will murder you" genre.
The Happening
By now, you've probably heard that M. Night Shyamalan's latest movie sucked. Something Awful desperately attempts to warn you of just how much.
Actium Maximus: War of the Alien Dinosaurs
What do you get when you cross "Gladiator" with a trip to the container store? Actium goddamn Maximus!
The Devil of Blue Mountain
A lunatic kidnaps two girls and drags them into the wilderness. Is he going to kill them, or is he just trying to waste their time?
Curse of Pirate Death
A bunch of students try to find a dead pirate's gold, despite knowing full well that his ghost will kill them. Yeah, they're not the sharpest bunch.
Alien vs. Hunter
As if "Alien vs. Predator" wasn't bad enough, someone had to go and make it worse.
Dimension in Fear
A serial killer is on the loose, and the only ones who can stop him are people who have absolutely no business trying to catch a serial killer.
Blood Mask: The Possession of Nicole Lamoureaux
You'd think college students would know by now, if they spend the night in a secluded house, they're all going to die. And yet, here we are.
Absolution
Three hitmen search for a pornstar who has stolen a terrorist's secret plans. But they don't know that she's really a vengeful angel in disguise! It's okay, though, it won't affect them in any way.
Santa's Slay
Did you know that Santa is the Antichrist? Or that he can breathe fire? Sounds like you need to do some reading, my ignorant friend.
The Curse of La Llorona
Enter a house of unrelenting horror! Oh, and while you're there, if you could ask everyone to start making sense, that would be great.
Zombies Gone Wild
When zombies threaten to ruin Spring Break, it's up to three young men to... also ruin Spring Break...
Basketweave
Finally, a movie that answers the age-old question: what if Hannibal Lecter was fat, bald, and instead of eating people he made baskets?
