The 7 Most Awful Things to Happen to the Internet

Cameras have provided the world with almost 200 years of recorded images. Great historical figures and crucial moments in time might be lost to all but the written word and the occasional erotic comic were it not for cameras. Cameras have traveled with us to the depths of the ocean and helped trick us into believing they were on the surface of the moon.

With a track record like that, it was difficult to include cameras on the list. It had to be done. Ladies and gentlemen, thanks to their terrifying relationship with the Internet, the time has come for us to give up on cameras.

It is a controversial concept, and there are many good arguments for why we should keep cameras around in the Internet age. The only worthwhile case against cameras must be made in the face of these arguments. I will allow the reader to determine which viewpoint should prevail.

It can take photographs of your precious children for your photo album.	Your precious children are taking photographs of themselves for that guy who was on To Catch a Predator twice.
Personal ads on dating sites can include pictures of the man or woman featured in the ad.	Man or woman featured in the ad will shine a 500,000 watt lamp at their face and hold the camera above their head to mask their tumescent flesh roiling out of a pair of sweatpants and a babydoll tee.
Youtube videos of children saying "sparkling wiggles" are adorable and hilarious.	............/´¯/) ............/....// .......^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ .........../....// ....../......__...........__....... ...../´¯/..../´¯.....(-....(.0.).......(.0.).....-) .././.../..../..../.|_...¡.........../_................ (.(....(....(..../.)..)............____........../ ................./../ .............................. .................../........__________/ ..................( .......................... ................... ................
There would be no good pornography without cameras.	Two words: prolapse porn. That red delicious ain't keepin' any doctors away.
Cameras in cellular telephones are frequently used to capture breaking news events that would otherwise be missed.	Episodes of Seinfeld will never be funny again. Videos from a think tank about why Iraq is going awesome posted to Liveleak do not make up for that.
Your favorite movies are all filmed with cameras. Where would you be without Star Wars, Indiana Jones, or Lord of the Rings?	Probably somewhere in Florida, 20 pounds lighter, with a tan and a hot babe on each arm. Besides, those movies don't even come close to compensating for one Daddy Day Camp. And there are a lot of Daddy Day Camps. Do you know how many Barbershop movies they made? They made eleven.
Photo IDs are useful for identification and personal information security. Do you want the terrorists to win?	Alright Winston Smith, I get it, you love Big Brother. The next time I fly to Vegas and have to submit to a retinal scan I'll know who to thank.
A beautiful woman's butt.	Manfaye.

The cases have been made.