Dogstation Omega

Props to The Yellow Yell for making the best image of 2007

Welp, looks like I did another BarkWire update a lot sooner than I thought I would. The inspiration struck me to finally start moving on that whole Vermin-Rusty conflict, which is of course a prime concern for everyone. I look forward to another week of "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO WRITE ABOUT PANZER" e-mails. I will write about Panzer towards the end of this series, and yes, Panzer will be covered!!

Also apologies for getting lazy with the Daily Dirts. Hope to make it up to you!!

Dogspotting

A few months ago a young man of Internet age named johnasavoia posted a thread in FYAD announcing a new sport called dogspotting.

dogspotting is a game you can play any time in any place, the rules are simple and it can be played alone or with others

you just gotta spot dogs, anywhere you see dogs, thats where the game is

single dog = 1pt

double dog = 4pt (must be one person walking two dogs, two people together each walking one dog is two single dogs)

triple dog = 6pt and so forth

particularly funny looking or ugly dogs are worth an additional point, very large dogs are also worth an additional point, though there is no bonus or lesser value placed on small dogs. Dogs in clothes falls under the heading of funny/ugly dogs.

You can tally your points on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis, I prefer to do daily.

Today I saw 3 single dogs, none particularly funny or large, and one double dog, so I had 7pts today.

I made this game up and its fun to play so if you wanna play along with me lets keep score together!

Naturally, some amendments and clarifications were made, which I will do my best to summarize here:

• Small dogs are worth +1. Small dogs with extremely fat owners are worth +2.
• +1 if you trick a dog into yawning by yawning yourself.
• +1 if they have a stick in their mouth.
• +1 for action dogs (swimming, chasing ducks, catching an object, fetching an object). Note: you cannot initiate the action.
• +1 for a dog in a car
• +2 for a dog in a car with its head out the window
• +10 for a dog in a helicopter
• Rescue dogs are worth +10 points. A rescue dog that rescues you from some rubble is worth +20 points. Note: you may not get yourself trapped in rubble intentionally for points.
• Drug dogs are worth +5
• Bomb sniffing dogs are worth +10

I wish you all the best of luck and high scores! This should make those boring summer days pass much faster!

Dog Haikus with Tom "Moof" Davies

Livestock: tom - maybe you ought to put your thoughts and feelings about dogs in poem form
Moof: maybe a haiku
Livestock: tom whatever just do what i asked
Moof: does the faithful hound
wait at the train station for
hope or love or death
Livestock: very good
Moof: thanks
Moof: the man who sees dogs
with his head bowed and eyes closed
rests easy at night
Livestock: hmmm
Livestock: so is he imagining the dog
Livestock: is the dog in his head
Livestock: is he dreaming
Moof: haikus about dogs
are to be interpreted
yourself josh boruff
Livestock: beware the bad dog
that disobeys gravity
offer him no treat
Moof: an ornery dog
is certainly not a friend
more like man's worst friend

Living Modestly in the Belly of the Whale with Tom "Moof" Davies

Livestock: tom i wouldn't mind living in the belly of a whale, for a little while
Moof: STARVING??
Livestock: no i mean i bet there'd be stuff to eat inside it
Livestock: like sushi
Moof: yeah
Livestock: but after awhile i would want to get a better place
Moof: not bad for something temporary while you look for a nicer place
Livestock: that's what i'm saying tom
Moof: yeah
Livestock: but i wouldn't want room mates or anything
Moof: yeah understood
Livestock: tom when you think about it whales are the studio apartments of the sea
Moof: so true josh
Moof: efficiencies

Finding Noah's Ark with Tom "Moof" Davies

Livestock: tom who are the five historic or famous people living or dead you would drink a beer with and eat a hot dog with
Moof: john lennon
Moof: ernest hemingway
Moof: tesla
Moof: your mom
Moof: and the auditor
Livestock: tom i was honestly thinking of tesla when i asked
Moof: tesla was asexual
Livestock: tom i was not planning on having sex with him anyawy
Moof: understood
Livestock: good choice on the auditor though, kudos
Moof: ty
Livestock: an oft-overlooked historical figure
Livestock: tom i wonder if they'll ever find noah's ark
Moof: i hope they will
Livestock: it would mean so much to me
Livestock: been looking for it on google maps
Livestock: got some prospects
Moof: how much
Moof: put a price on it
Livestock: tom 327.42
Livestock: in canadian dollars
Moof: here
Livestock: well
Livestock: i guess i owe you some money
Moof: wasn't that difficult
Moof: to be honset
Moof: just searched for noah's ark
Livestock: don't know what all the fuss is about then
Moof: yeah paypal works
Livestock: argh

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)