Dofus - The game with the name

This is the best game on Linux.To say the character selection was interesting would be an understatement. The first thing your eyes are exposed to are various furries in which you can choose from. A few of the other characters you can choose from include pixies, some seven year old kid, a senile old man, a paladin with obnoxiously large hair, and a creepy tree guy on steroids.

When making your character you can pick your hair and armor color. I tried to make my archer look naked with big shoulder pads. Nude and prepared, I was now ready to enter the world of Dofus.

Scarecrows: Deadliest enemies in DofusUpon entering the game I was greeted with a goofy blue thing that I apparently kept "deep down" in my pocket. After escaping his smelly wet prison, he jumped with glee and squealed happily. In fact, every single time I clicked on something new, he jumped into my screen, did a double back flip and made some high pitch squeal.

After going through several "YIPPIE! THIS IS HOW YOU PLAY!" tutorials (mostly just having me run from one creepy NPC to the other), I made myself over to a man with a bird head. After the character creation screen and now this, I was starting to get wary of this game. He told me to pummel the crap out of a scarecrow until my knuckles bled. After doing so, he just told me to do it again. After six times I realized it was getting me nowhere and just advanced to the next screen.

I ran into a few people on my journey through cold cliffs of scarecrows but they could offer me no useful advice and the most talkative of them kept making Linux references. Apparently there aren't any fun games that work with Linux if this game is considered fun by its users.

Killing small dogs is a way of life.After waves of NPCs telling me useless crap about the game's mechanics, I stumbled upon some run down temple with weird dogs loitering around. There were a couple of quests but none had to do with anything in the area and I didn't feel like advancing to the next series of screens. The entire time I was naked and killing small dogs with magical arrows from my pixie bow. No weapons or armor dropped the entire time I played. I did, however, find a familiar character that got lost on his way to the mushroom kingdom.

I really wish this game was more interesting. My job is to play crappy MMOs and make fun of weird or funny things about them. I feel as if I have failed or that Dofus really is just so bland after character creation that there is nothing to make fun of. This does not mean it is an exceptional game. Dofus is just boring.

Even though Dofus is a pretty bland game it was able to reach my highest rating yet. Hooray for mediocre MMOs!

– Steve "Khad" Grant