Brandon Reinhart contacted me yesterday with news that he was being attacked by a rabid Christian fundamentalist attempting to annoy him into attending his church. I have nothing but the greatest respect for Christian fundamentalists, because it takes a lot of stamina and dedication to successfully block out all forms of logic and reason for so long. However, since I have never been spammed by one before, I did not have an excuse to prank one (I try to only prank people who deserve it, and I don't believe in going out of my way to annoy people just because of their religion). Once I found out that Brandon was being harassed and spammed by one, that was all the reason I needed.

This prank starts out kind of slow because I needed to test the waters and find out how gullible the guy was. Don't worry, it picks up on the next page.


Anointed - What can I do for you.

Scotty (Lowtax) - hi sir, I was told that maybe you could help me... my name is Scott Maynard and my dad is Rev Pat Maynard and Im working on our churchs webpage. I was wondering if you knew anything about the Internet and how I could do this (somebody told me you knew a lot about the internet and since you use this program, I thought he was right!!!) : ) : ) : )

Anointed - Who did you talk too?

Scotty (Lowtax) - my friend in Texas I dont talk too him very much because hes not very religious tolerent, but hes somebody from my school and he just used this chat program to contact me and said you might be able to help me. I didnt know that you knew him/

Anointed - What I'm asking is how did he know me and what's his name?

Scotty (Lowtax) - hello his name was "Brandon" and he said you contact him about your church in Mesquite? he is a game maker, but is making a very filthy game full of sin. I forgot what the game is called, but my father calls it a "abonimation"

Anointed - Oh Brandon the satanist? I think his last name was Rein... something... Hold on just a second and let me check...

Scotty (Lowtax) - Yes something like that. is he a satanist? I knew he lost Jesus from his heart long ago, but didnt think he had adopted the cult of the Devil completetely. that is very sad to me.

Anointed - yes, i was trying to get him to come to church with me but he decided against it. His nicname was Green Marine I think.

Anointed - Anyway, you live in Calf. What church do you attend?

Anointed - What telephone company are you apart of?

Scotty (Lowtax) - i have never heard of the name "Green Marine" before, my dad says people who use nicknames on the internet are being disgraceful to God and full of Satan because they are lying about their true name and nature and the devil speaks through chatrooms!

Anointed - Very possible, however, I use Anointed because the word tells me so...

Scotty (Lowtax) - I use Scott Maynard becuase that is what my dad named me! My dad is Reverend Pat Maynard and we have a small church called The Temple of Leviticus in Santa Ana where my dad preaches at the church. I am designing the webpage but dont know anything about the internet so I was hoping you could help me spread The Word!

Anointed - Oh, By the way, I am a youth pastor for Faith Crossing Church. I work for Southwestern Bell Internet. Yes, I can help you get where you need to be, however, I need you to give me the info about your Telephone Company, so I have an idea whether they offer internet services or not.

Anointed - Our youth website is http://home.swbell.net/ebearden It's there just because. I have not really done alot with it though.

Scotty (Lowtax) - I dont know anything about my telephone company, sorry : ( : ( : ( my father handles all that and he is out in the garage now doing something with the motor in our boat we use to drive around in the lake. I will ask him when he gets back, he probably knows.

Anointed - First thing you need to do is find out what your telephone company offers and compare it to other internet providers. Then you choose the best one. Once you do that, then you need to go by a software package called microsoft frontpage and begin to build your webpage on your computer. After building the webpage, you will need to transfer the files to the web server used by the internet provider and poof, you have it.

Scotty (Lowtax) - oh, I have the tools to do that, I was just wanted to ask you about the content and writing on the webpage, like what would be the best way to Spread the Word and how to write it to make it effective for the most people. My father holds very exciting sermons and attracts many people from counties as far as El Chupacabre, and I want the page to be as exciting and effective/

More Pranks [ICQ]

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful