THE MYSTERY BOX IS RIGGED!

RUN!!!

The Irvingson Family bribes grandma with cake so she will hopefully forget the tantalizing scent of human flesh.

"ROWWRRRRR! I pissed in that cakemix too! ROOWOOWOWOWWRRR!"

You sure piss a lot, Uglycat!

"RAAAWWWWWRRRWRWRR!!! At least I can still get it up!"

"ROWWWWWR! Yes you are that stoned, you brown comb-nosed collection of assorted societal rejection. HISSSSSSSS!"

"Assorted societal rejection?" What the hell are you talking about, you pissant cat? I ought to rub your ugly ass against a washboard and see if I can scrape the stupid out of you."

"ROWWWWWR! Bring it on, you impotent shithead! ROWWWWWRRR!!!"

Cross a freakish, mutant Alan Thick with John Travolta, and what do you get? I don't know, but it can't be any more horrid than example of God's many failures.

Chef Happy enjoys the Special Sauce!

Barney and Gertrude Engalman. That rotten simp stole my barbecue grill the week after last 4th of July. I went over to his place and his wife starting saying that they were out of town that week and Barney wasn't home and blah blah blah so I shoved the batty broad out of the way and busted into their kitchen and took a handful of their silverware and ran off. That night the cops came and made me go back to the station AGAIN because the prick cops in Appleton City don't have any fucking respect for a veteran like me. Idiot kids. I'm going to go over to Barney's place tomorrow and throw a gallon of paint remover in his uglyass wife's eyes and hope she disappears.