Mitch Webster gloats because I aimed a few inches to low. I correct my mistake by burning down his house and throwing his crippled mother into a drainage ditch, where I sat and threw pistachio nuts at her for the next seven hours.

"Pin the clump of red pubic hair on the 1980's monkey", the game where everybody loses.

The North Appleton Inter-net Club meets to brainstorm new and exciting ways to pick up diseased 60 year old hags on their computers. Lookin good there, nancyboys. How about you get the powerup and go fuck yourselves?

Aargh! Acid Troll guards the mysterious Dimension of Failure.

NEXT ON "DINING WITH GREASY":

GREASY TEACHES YOU THE JOYS OF DRINKING THE LIQUID SQUEEZED FROM THE PUSSY LANDMINES GROWING FROM HIS FACE.