Goth dirtbag Eddie Trovollis. I refer to him as "Victim #482." The scarring on his forehead is the aftermath of my 24-hour "gothbeating with a wheelbarrow" marathon.

Some computer geek trying to act tough. Yeah, great job there, Nancyboy. If you're such a badass, why do you have a roll of toilet paper next to your "XXX" computer screen, huh? On second thought, I don't fucking want to know.

Creepypriest saves souls and redeems them for valuable cash prizes!

South Appleton scientists successfully combine the DNA of a chicken's body and the DNA of a cat's head. The result? Just another piece of meat splattered across the grille of my Chrysler.

For a little "South of the Border" taste, try beating up James Patterson and Mike McDougal! Just be warned that some of the fluids which escape while kicking the crap out of them may permanently stain your shoes.

Goddamn! I don't know where the fuck this bar is, but I want directions fast. This is the best picture I've ever seen. I need more pictures of hot broads on this site.