Defending The Indefensible: Sleigh Bells

... But you can't take the hoodie out of the emo/metal guitarist.

And obviously, it shouldn't matter when artists decide to have an entire rethink about their musical direction that just happens to coincide with current trends but ... come on. Sleigh Bells' other member, producer/songwriter Derek E. Miller, once played in emo/metal band Poison The Well. Now, he's a born-again dance-floor acolyte. (Did someone whisper Atari Teenage Riot in my ear? If only.)

Back to Facebook. "They're what is known as style over sub-substance," writes the same Web site editor. Ah, one of those bands. So we're talking King Of Leon, right? "About as interesting as watching your beard grow," comments another friend. "Wait. That's being nasty to your beard."

There certainly is a lot of smoke and thunder and NOISE and distortion, on Sleigh Bells' debut long-player Treats, ... smoke and thunder and NOISE and distortion and NOISE and beats and NOISE and beats and ... pump, pump, pump, pump up the volume. Pump up the volume. Pump those pecs. Pump those pecs.

This is like Royal Trux, without the sleaze -- i.e. Royal Trux, minus the interest.

Incidentally, how the FUCK is this classified lo-fi?

"Didn't Tracy And The Plastics do this sort of thing, only far better, and with an added queer take on Jem And The Holograms, eight/nine years ago?" asks someone, finally. Well, sure. But who's going to care about that when there's money to be made? And the entire shedding-layers-of-spandex and pep-rally live shtick was presumably inspired by CSS.

Wait. Shouldn't we be mildly suspicious that it's possible to name so many other hipster bands in even the most rudimentary discussion of Sleigh Bells? I guess they're the latest in a long production line of Pitchfork darlings. Sleigh Bells' noise has been called sonic terrorism, but from where I'm standing, it seems that Sleigh Bells firmly -- and very deliberately -- represent the alt. rock establishment. So, not terrorists at all then.

"All the girls, all the girls these days/All the girls, all the girls these days/Did you do your best today?/Did you do your best today?" Krauss asks on "Tell 'Em." You can't tell she's a former schoolteacher. She was also previously in manufactured teen pop combo Rubyblue ... plus ça change, huh? Here, knock yourself out, have a listen.

Treats, now available exclusively through iTunes.

– Everett True