September 3, 2007

~*~ The Book Barn ~*~
Reppin': Mr. SM Holocaust
You may be interested to know that people other than social mutants regularly read books.
There are probably only like 4 of them out there, but they do exist.

Great Covers Ruined by a Single Detail?
You can't judge a book by its cover but an ugly cover is still an ugly cover. Who wants to be seen in public reading literature where Leonardo DiCaprio or Russel Crowe is featured on the front grinning like he just fucked your girlfriend? Might as well get an HP Chassis for your Mac or insist that the Barista at your local independent coffee shop put their freetrade coffee in a Starbucks cup made from the skull of a child.

SABC September - Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Dead white males take a breather as the Something Awful Book Club calls up mainstay Gabriel Garcia Marquez from the bench for a south-of-the-border experience. Be wary, though, just because black people will know your white ass is down with black culture because you read Roots and own a Public Enemy album doesn't mean you can namedrop Marquez to the kitchen staff and get extra fries.

Are SF authors sex starved nerds ?
Goons make a valiant, well-supported effort to disprove the stereotype that sci-fi is the escapist, sexist work of enraged nerds but are finding it hard going in the face of blog posts by sci fi author Leo Frankowski detailing his efforts at buying a Russian bride and how feminists, liberals and homosexuals hate his guts.

So far the consensus is that in good sci fi, passages should not read like shameful admissions of past sexual deviance but with the names changed and the reader shouldn't be able to tell to what level the author was tormented in high school.

Books for Girls
Man, just when you think that a discussion about a goon trying to help his girlfriend to read more can't be saved, someone goes and post "cookbooks" as a suggestion.

It's funny because she's a girl and girls cook. Get it? Never saw that one coming. A dry, boring discussion weighing the merits of offering reading material based on gender verse drawing from a broader spectrum of available literature is saved by someone saying that a girl who wants to read more should read a cookbook. Close this thread from orbit, scotty. It's the only way to be sure all your base ninja pirates.

Beyond Issac Asimov's original Foundation Trilogy - Worth it?
Blink. Blink. Quivering right cheek. Pursed lips. Look down. Look up. Shrug.

~*~ General Bullshit ~*~
Reppin': SpecialOlympian
GBS is the forum where threads that don't quite fit anywhere else go. We already have lots of specialized subforums already though, so a large portion of what flows into GBS are threads like "I just pooped my pants at work today and I don't remember eating all that corn". Oh, and these:

Resume from a Vampire -- a Pokemon-, videogame-loving Vampire - Rule of thumb for reading Anne Rice novels: every vampire is gay. This is spelled out very plainly in the Rice ruleset for Masquerade.

What's the WORST thing you've ever done? - When trick or treating, do not jokingly ask the retarded boy who opens the door if you can "have all of the candy, please?" Unless you really want candy.

How to build your own Fleshlight! - I'm a fleshlight purist, so I only use the finest and most supple flesh to line the innards of my pringle can. And I only use the tubes that come with pizza flavored Pringles.

FATAL.pdf, the Worst Role Playing Game Ever - Critical hit! Your Weapon Sword of Weapons severs the male ogre's (roll roll)... clitoris! You attempt to shove it up your ass. Roll constitution and anal circumferance scores... success!

Things you don't want to see on In-flight Entertainment - These people are pansies. Watching yourself on TV while you await the inevitable crash and burn isn't so bad. Just ask anyone who works at the White House.

For Those Who Don't Shit Themselves In Fear of Bugs - Shitting yourself is the worst thing you can do when faced with the Africanized Bull Dung beetle.