May 19, 2008

"Every damn time!" Things that mock you in videogames - The secret reason that most people despise PC gaming and have bitterly brought about its downfall via piracy stems from playing adventure games as children and having save files in positions where you couldn't beat the game since you forgot to pick up an obscure item at a location that you can no longer access.

MUDs! - If you didn't play Legend of the Red Dragon on a BBS when you were a kid, you don't know what real gaming is.

A Big Freeware and Abandonware Compilation - Who doesn't love free games? Oh, you'll an account to view the private compilation. Don't have one?

Sonic The Hedgehog 2006: A Modern Epic - Was the only thing holding this game back from being a masterpiece the abnormally long load times? Of course not! Find out why in this "Let's Play" adventure.

top 10 gaming gifs - n/t

DJExile Invades Normandy - The Americans didn't invade and retake Normandy, the French did. Duh.

Seriously, Fuck Bears. A lot. - You'd think this message would be a given on a forum filled with overweight homosexual goons.

A Guy Threatened to Shoot Me Last Night - Smegmalicious got a the kiss of death and wants to know what he should do to stave off his inevitable demise?

What is a Holster? - From WIkipedia - "A holster is an unspecified, yet specialized article of clothing or a device, worn to hold, or restrict the undesired movement of, an item, such as a handgun or other weapon, cellular telephone, hand tool, or virtually any other small object about the person, most commonly in a location where it can be easily withdrawn for immediate use."a

Help me Unfuck my Carbine - Paramemetic just wont stop delivering with his pencil shaped bore obstructions.

Obtaning a Rifle License in NYC, Anyone have Experience - In renting a Uhaul in this fine city?

Crazy.txt - Cyano4747 and his posse go completely off topic with a history lesson about Nazi Germany and how every German ever conceived is inherently evil.

Prince Caspian: We fight... to the timeout! The second Narnia book has been turned into a movie and it was released last Friday! Talk about how much you want the people who made the movie to not put in all that Christian symbolism and if they don't like it? DEAL WITH IT.

Mike Myers in: What the fuck is this shit I was just thinking to myself that its been too long since we've had Mike Myers running around a movie screen mugging more than New York City. Wait, does that make sense? Eh, lets go with that.

Terrible movie TV edits Fool you, mother flipper! Fool you!

Tropic Thunder is already the funniest movie I've ever seen You've probably seen the TV ads now check out the R rated trailer. Ben Stiller returns to form and it looks like he isn't just cashing a paycheck for this one. Also, Robert Downey Jr plays a white guy playing a black man. What?

SenSupaFly wants retards to openly express themselves in yearbooks!! Wahh wahh wahh! Hear that? Its the cry of the big baby who can't handle someone trolling an unrelated person.

Get down with the sickness. Goons have every disease in the world, except for venereal diseases. (because they are all a bunch of virgins)

Golden MS paint week? wtf God, I can't believe the mod/admin team of this site. YOUR RUINING ALL THE WONDERFUL MS PAINT THREADS FACISTS! So says DARTHJON!

BeastUK is a disgusting polyamorous 4chan pervert Its the most accurate thread title in the world! That's all you need to know, baby.

Tragedy on the grill: or, clean your catch tray you dumbass
- None of us should be allowed near hot surfaces or sharp objects, apparently.

Eating Las Vegas
- No, FUCK Mesa Grill, because Bobby Flay is an egotistical hack. And the Burger Bar for making people sick. And most trendy places that the celebrity chefs they're named after don't even go near. Go eat as Rosemary's and other like places or you might as well just enjoy eating at whatever Applebee's clone is next to the buffet at the lodging of your choice, you slice of easy target demographic middle America.

That special ingredient - that makes life better
- The answer, of course, is MSG. But this thread is chock full of people trying to name other things so that they don't look like seasoning monsters.

First attempt at salsa....
- You see, if you leave out the peppers and garlic and cilantro and add vinegar and sugar, you don't actually have salsa anymore. You have ketchup.

LF feminism thread - This thread is in the joke forum because feminism is a joke.

NARAL endorses Obama, pseudo-feminists freak out - Pro-choice advocates threaten to vote for right-wing candidate who wants to overturn Roe v. Wade in well-thought-out plan

If Lewinsky was a smoking babe i don't think anyone would have cared - One of the many coders who work on the forums recently discovered this long-lost thread from about ten years ago in the database, enjoy!!

STEAMY SECRET LESBIAN RELATIONSHIPS OF FORMER 1ST LADIES ITT - Apparently, Grover Cleveland's wife was a lesbian. I tried to come up with a "non-consecutive" joke that I could put here, but I failed. I'm sorry.

"I want to see a woman in there before I see a . . . man of color" - That's what she said! In the article maxnmona quoted.

this is going to cost obama the presidency for sure - Hey, there I am — it's me. It's me. Did you know Barack Obama and John McCain are both girly men who love the hot, Swedish rhythms of ABBA? Well since you do now, there's no real reason to read this thread because it devolves into a bunch of nerds discussing grammar. Thanks guys!

– Jon "@fart" Hendren (@fart)