January 28, 2008

~*~ General Bullshit ~*~
Reppin': SpecialOlympian
What a great day at the gym. First I was listening to Jock Jams, then I was covered in them.

Anonymous VS Scientology : war on the intertubes - Anonymous has declared war on Scientology. Watch this thread for the latest updates. And special thanks to Hopper for taking the time to compile all the links from the thread here.

Lets grow a human - When someone starts a thread with a crappy starter image one of two things can happen. The OP will be mocked and his thread will fall downward into obscurity or the thread will take on a life of its own and the OP will run from his beautifully flawed creation like a comedic Dr. Frankenstein. This is the Dr. Frankenstein one.

The Meat Ship - With that authentic nautical Age of Discovery smell.

Meteor! - When your thread goes gold it's a good idea to switch over to WaffleImages.

Let's all make some awesome space images - Now you too can design planet menu screens for Mass Effect.

Movie Title Fuck-Ups (Cinema Discusso crosspost) - I used to think Cinema Discusso was the subforum for high minded film majors who spent hours discussing the subtle nuances of cinematography in foreign films. Turns out it's just those two guys who pull the late shift at Blockbuster.

I CAN DO IT! - A true story of American ingenuity and perseverance in the face of insurmountable odds. An Ameracle, if you will.

Dear internet, thank you for the awful conjoinment artwork. Might be NWS. - It's not really worksafe in the sense that you can see people's private parts, but I don't know how your boss would react to pictures of lovers melting together into one gelatinous mass.

Myspace private pictures leak - It's ok if we see these pictures because we're all friends here on the internet even if we never sent a friend request.

~*~ Games ~*~
Reppin': Mr. Onslaught
"Nine out of ten PS3 owners agree - we don't exist."

New Team Fortress Acheivements anyone can get - "Conspiracy Theorist: Use the Flamethrower on every one of your teammates without finding an enemy spy."

What Game Did You Just Finish - In case you want to read about people writing diary updates about which games they have played recently, here is the thread for you.

Clonk Rage: Throwing explosives at friends has never been so much fun - Unique online multiplayer games that are free are always worth checking out.

Metroid Prime: The Bitch is Back - I wish this was the kind of Let's Play thread with pictures instead of videos.

Allright I wanna see Big Crysis Gifs, Big Crysis Pics, and Big Crysis Vids - Will these ever stop being funny? (The answer is no).

~*~ BYOB ~*~
Reppin': CaptainWinky
BYOB is all about maxin' and relaxin'. Attempt any other activities and you will quickly find yourself at the wrong end of an angry nerd's keyboard! It's blue and all you're supposed to do is chill with your friends, making it almost exactly like being trapped in a collapsed igloo with the math team.

:welp: my santee for BYOB secret santa got banned today - Christmas? Try Wintereenmas. Plebeian.

victoria beckham: a lesson in terrifying boobies - The only thing worse than a sad clown is a pair of boobies that inspire fear. This has been your weekly BYOB tits/ass thread.

my roommate made a porn movie with his girlfriend - Okay, guess you can have one more tits/ass thread. Join in on a little goon justice upon this guy's roommate.

I got on my checkered sketchers, baggie jeans and my New Found Glory hoodie - Let's go to the mall! As a teen without a purpose, I'll just chill by the fountain and look tough until the security guard shows up. If I get my allowance maybe I can pick up some bapes while I'm at it.

~*~ The Book Barn ~*~
Reppin': NC Wyeth Death Cult
The Book Barn is Something Awful's home for serious word readers to discuss their favorite word collections without fear of a thread going into the archives or gassing. There are currently live threads on: Frank Herbert's Dune Series, The Dark Tower, scholarly criticism online, discussing uniquely horrible books, George R.R. Martin, dystopic fiction, memorable quotes, Warhammer 40k and the horror genre. Everyone is welcome!

Looking to get into Sci-Fi
From the "But does it looked awesome airbrushed on the side of a van?" department

This thread needs your suggestions for space epics with big meaty star destroyers piloted by ubermensch blasting the stars from the sky and the women who love them. From the OP: "I don't really care if the protagonist is a walking cliche."

What a coincidence, neither do most most modern sci fi authors. Yeah, I said it, Orson Scott Card. It's out there now and can't be unsaid. Come get me if you got the balls.

Becoming a Novelist: to do, or not to do?
Aspiring novelists get a few words of advice from published authors. Take heart, your Parry Hotter slash fic may find a home yet!

The "Lovecraftian Horror" Megathread
If there's one thing internet people like more than spreading the gospel of Snowcrash it has to be Lovecraft. I don't know why, usually Lovecraft stories end with the crazed loner seeking power outside of usual societal avenues being obliterated by lightning or unspeakable horrors so unspeakable that it's best not to speak of it instead of, say, successfully installing Linux and breaking 1,000 friends on MySpace.

If you're one of the devotees of early horror master H.P. Lovecraft, stop in to tell us your favorite story or to share some authors that may write in his style. IF YOU DARE!

Any good serial killer novels?
A quiet thread that keeps to itself. You won't hear from it again until the second you wake up and your mind barely recognizes the cindberblock dropping on your skull. Then all that's left is tearing the fetus out of this generation's Sharon Tate, tribute bands by misguided middle class youths and talking heads discussing WHAT IT ALL MEANS.

Cell: The last Stephen King book I will ever suffer.
Rapidly turning into another kvetch-all thread about the Michael Jackson of horror. Me, I read Garfield.

~*~ Goons With Spoons ~*~
Reppin': Mr. Wiggles
If you've gotten as far as to read Internet articles about Internet forums (as you apparently have) but you're still not killing yourself by eating dishes of incredible unhealthiness devised by fellow Internet people, well I just don't know what to do with you.

ICSA 26 - The One That Came After ICSA 25 - Official Sign Up Thread - ALL THESE MOTHERFUCKERS BE GOING DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have 6 dozen eggs. What do you make? - Pickled eggs, scrambled eggs, eggs benedict, custards, flans, German pancakes, frittatas , lemon curd, etc., etc....

Ideas for Food to Eat when sick - From Around the Globe - Feelin' down? Try some of this - it's like everyone's grandma all rolled into one thread.

In Pho we trust - If you're still sick after the suggestions above, then the only cure for you is this, the best of all soups.

Goons and Valentine's Day Maybe you shouldn't actually click on this link. Its just gonna be super depressing with a bunch of goons making the same bad jokes about how alone they are. Then you end up with people who won't shut up about how they are totally going to have SEX. SEX! Basically the whole thing is lose lose.

Romanshoes has a couple problems. What are her problems? Well she looks like this:

and draws things like this:

Hot Goonette Girl Pants has BOOOOOOOOBS and ADD and tuberculosis Hey, want to see some hot hot pics of a girl goon? Of course you do but you're not going to find them here. Sucka!

~*~ The Firing Range ~*~
Reppin': Miso Beno
Have you ever been polishing your extensive gat collection, then stopped to longingly look at your keyboard and wish you could discuss cleaning your guns with somebody? Who hasn't? That's what I want to know.

My First Gun = Illegal in MA - HOW DO I USE THE GOOGLE.

How not to test your Hydro Shock Ammunition - A Gentleman who goes by the alias 'Dishead' has devised one of the most effective, and painful ways to test his ammunition's expansion, fragmentation, and penetration abilities; complete with photos fit for The Goon Doctor.

Problem with my tiny new pistol! - Mr. Britt wants to bring new meaning to shooting fish in a barrel, but first he needs to fix his Sterling Arms .22 LR.

SKS Replacement Stock - How DILLIGAF riced out his SKS or Mr. Tuffpaws shows some skin.

SaMart: Official TFR / Goon inspired shirts! - ZeroFate return to scam another batch of gullible TFR posters.

Help me identify some WWII Shells - because they blew my god damned hand off.

Tactica Pants Update for you Internet Commandos - Now 5.11 and Woolrich share a common lineage by outsourcing their tacti-pants to the land of high quality tacti-textiles and tacti-wares known as The People's Republic of China.

A Lifetime's collection dismantled (Image Heavy) - This is the saddest thread of the year. I don't think much can top this.

Carcal, New Combat Pistol - Quickload circlejerks over a new generic polymer framed pistol with iPod like styling.

What's in the Garbage Can? - How Slyph got sent to prison.

~*~ The TV IV ~*~
Reppin': rubber cat
"What does the paper say about tomorrow?"
"Another scorcher!"
"Cool."

American Gladiators: Wolf Blitzer Has Really Let Himself Go - "Wolf" (Worf?) is so badass he has not one but two IRC channels dedicated to him.

I can't do this all on my own. No , I know I'm no Superman. Scrubs season 7 - Mr. Belding is very angry about Scrubs: "Good god, if they don't finish this fucking show then Zach Braff and Bill Lawrence can burn in the same hell reserved for Daniel Knauff and whomever canceled Carnivale. Zach Braff for being a smug dipshit and Daniel Knauff for not finding a way to release the ending of the story as anything other than an HBO series."

Breaking Bad, A New Show That FX Lacked the Balls to Air, Premieres 1/20. - A few years ago I sent a few of my ideas to all the cable networks, one of which was "what if malcolm in the middle was about meth???" Needless to say, I am currently looking into pursuing legal action.

Bones - Fox Fridays @ 8:00 (Fox decided to kill it) - Is Bones headed for the boneyard??? This joke is ©2008 Something Awful, LLC and may not be used without authorized permission.

The Moment Of Truth: Exposing People's Lies For Fun And Profit - Does this show have unbearably long dramatic pauses? THE ANSWER IS...................................................TRUE.

The Simpsons 19th season megathread - The Simpsons do not age. Instead they are trapped in a hellish existence where they are perpetually the same age for all eternity. Bart will never graduate from the fourth grade, Lisa will never escape the confines of Springfield, and Maggie will forever remain mute. They will never die, but they will never truly live either.

– Jon "@fart" Hendren (@fart)