Part 2: Object Identification
In this portion of the test you will be presented with six pairs of objects. One object is a marital aid and the other object is a piece of equipment used for fishing. Determine which is which as quickly as possible.
 | |
Item 1A Product Name: "The Jelli Tickler" | Item 1B Product Name: "The Cactus Tickler" |
| Highlight the text for the correct answer! Answer:The Jelli Tickler is the sexual aid, designed to be placed inside the vagina, its rotating arms will unfurl and rake the inner walls of the uterus at high speed. Comes with a tether to prevent it from burrowing into the abdominal cavity. The Cactus Tickler is used mostly in the desert or for mesa fishing, although if you put its little arms up and draw a surprised face on it you can probably just sell it at an anime convention for like fifty bucks. | |
Item 2A Product Name: "Deep Plunger" | Item 2B Product Name: "Maximum Plunger" |
| Highlight the text for the correct answer! Answer:Both items are fishing lures, although the Maximum Plunger has seen its share of anuses. | |
Item 3A Product Name: "The Groan Chode" | Item 3B Product Name: "The Butterfly Collector" |
| Highlight the text for the correct answer! Answer:Despite its name, the Groan Chode is actually a soft bait used in both fresh water and marine environments. It is designed to resemble the Chode Squid, once believed to be mermaids by primitive sailors and easily identified by its haunting groan-like melodies. To kill a Chode Squid is considered an ill omen, thus the artificial bait despite the Chode Squid's noisome abundance. The Butterfly Collector is a clitoral electrifier that pulses high voltage direct from the mains into a woman's clitoris. Discontinued after a woman had her vagina fused shut during a power surge. | |
Item 4A Product Name: "Magnum Pleasure Cup Deluxe" | Item 4B Product Name: "Double Delight" |
| Highlight the text for the correct answer! Answer:The Magnum Pleasure Cup Deluxe features stainless-steel construction and a latex inner sheath ribbed for a firm grip. It is designed to hold the handle of a reel on a fishing boat. The Double Delight, though it resembles the tongue worm of Pacific coastal waters, is actually a dildo fashioned after Peter Weller's genitalia. Did you know that Peter Weller teaches college level Roman history? He has a very probing methodology in his class. If you get my drift. Wink wink. | |
Item 5A Product Name: "The Wishing Tree" | Item 5B Product Name: "Joy Cray's Action Go Stimulator" |
| Highlight the text for the correct answer! Answer:The Wishing Tree is a deep sea fishing lure meant to resemble various free-floating abyssal corals and attract the flat-toothed molar sharks. Joy Cray's Action Go Stimulator is a cervix spreader based on a Japanese educational cartoon that teaches the retarded how to dress themselves. | |
Item 6A Product Name: "Quantum Hot Sauce Reel Lubricant" | Item 6B Product Name: "Slik Masturbation Lubricant for Men" |
| Highlight the text for the correct answer! Answer:Question 6 is a trick question. Neither item is a marital aid and neither item is a fishing impliment. Quantum Hot Sauce Reel Lubricant is a burrito lubricant given away at the chow tent at Reel Big Fish concerts as a promotion. It was discontinued after a burrito exited a roadie and blinded two people. Slik Masturbation Lubricant for Men is a mane oil for show ponies. | |
Keep track of your times for each selection. Though this will not affect your overall grade, your time - when cross-referenced with your accuracy - can help provide a useful metric for your overall horniness.
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