Chapter Two - Ejaculate With Chemistry Mishaps
She was everything his mother was and more. Her breasts were the size of high-altitude weather balloons used in groundbreaking scientific experiments. Her heart-shaped face was easily as big as a prize-winning pumpkin and at least 50% of its anterior surface area was occupied by the two glistening, Frisbee like discs of her eyes. She had magenta hair that framed her face like dyed hazard lights marking off the site of a sexy interstate traffic fatality. Her lips and nose were each no more than two centimeters wide, which according to the insane Japanese anatomy text was the optimal size for human females. The bird men might disagree, but they would not have their opportunity to rewrite the textbooks of Japan for another 30 years.
"Good morning class," said the teacher in a voice that was so high-pitched it was only one octave inside of the range of human hearing.
"Good morning Miss Tokyomama," replied the class in droned unison.
Dari sat transfixed, his mouth agape, his throbbing man-roll frozen somewhere between ejaculating copious amount and comically spraying blood. There was an audible liquid sloshing sound as Miss Tokyomama's twin ocular spheres rotated slowly to gaze upon. With a long-lashed blink that seemed to draw across her eyes like the line of the setting sun races across the earth she smiled with her tiny pink bow mouth and address Dari.
"Mr. Armostrongo, it says on my schedule that today is your first day in class," her voice was like a cross between a dolphin and a canary; a hideous shrill chirping that could potentially be used as a form of navigation. "Welcome to Ogataka high school. It is the tradition in my chemistry class that for the first day any new students be partnered with me in lab. Does that sound good?"
Dari's only response was to ejaculate until his desk had nearly overturned from the constant pressure of his erupting jizz pipe. With a creaking not unlike the sound a circus tent makes when exposed to freezing air Miss Tokyomama's nipples visibly hardened beneath her shirt. She giggled and blushed and motioned for Dari to join her at the head of the class at her own lab table.
"Oh my god!" yelled Tanaka, "the new guy has been transformed into a gorgeous girl."
Just as Tanaka said that, Dariana got a massive erection that was obvious to anyone in the class. "No," explained Miss Tokyomama, "he has evolved to the next step in humanity, he has become a dickgirl."
The gorgeous Miss Tokyomama explained that a dickgirl was a magical creature in Japan better than man or woman. She combined all of the female qualities of a freakishly proportioned girl with the masculine rape potential of a man with a penis the size of a small European automobile. Dariana professed that while the new feelings of being a dickgirl were erotic and interesting, she wanted to go back to being just a boy. Disappointed, Miss Tokyomama wrote out a hall pass for her to visit the school nurse.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.
Copyright ©2025 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful