He-Man quickly climbs onto the Dragon Walker (hey kids, you can buy the Dragon Walker at your local toy store!) and crosses an "impassable mountain gorge"(hey kids, you can buy the Dragon Walker at your local toy store!), the word "impassable" of course meaning "easy to cross on foot" (hey kids, you can buy the Dragon Walker at your local toy store!). He promptly reaches the North River and begins to implement his intensely clever plan, whatever the hell it may be.
By the magic of irrigation, I have the power of primitive dam construction! He-Man decides to toss a few rocks in front of the North River, causing it to divert and begin flowing towards the nefarious Snake Mountain. Of course the villagers depended on the North River to supply them with water, but hey, they can just get the retard in the bee suit to bring them a couple of buckets when they're low. I mean the guy can't be THAT busy getting beaten up by Skeletor's henchmen 24-7.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.
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- Article: The State of the Internet
- Flash Game: Awfulmon
- The 2000 Awful Awards
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- Top 10 Effects of the Gamespy / MPlayer Buyout
