Something Awful Special Report: BLACK IN AMERICA!!! (Part 83 of 631)

We soon found more blacks like celebrity black Wrestle Simmons who looked less powerful than JASON.
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Us: You're wearing a pink sweater.

Wrestle Simmons: And I'm black.

Us: This is totally throwing all of our preconceptions on their ear...

Wrestle Simmons: Welcome to my world now...the Wrestle Simmons of America.

Us: Can we ask you about being black?

Wrestle Simmons: Sure. I don't mind.

Us: Who is that picture in the background?

Wrestle Simmons: I don't know, just a guy with a head shaped like a banana and glowing eyes.

Us: It's a little bit scary.

Wrestle Simmons: Yeah. Yeah, I can see that. A little bit.

Us: Like a-

Wrestle Simmons: Don't you go there!

Us: Like a-

Wrestle Simmons: I'm warning you!

Us: Like a scary skeleton.

Wrestle SImmons: Thank y-

Us: Of a black man!

Wrestle Simmons: OHHHHH!!

Wrestle Simmons chased us off his property shaking his fist, but we remembered something another black man had said to us:

So we decided to go find out from a white why they all hate blacks so much...