Backyard Love

FUCK YOU NINJA!!!:Interesting. SHIT! Write her a letter - no COCK IN BALLS email! Tell her how this is hurting you, FAT ASS but that you are resigned to accepting ORGASM PEACH PIE the fact that she has either fallen out of love with you COLON COLON COLON COLON FUCKER COLON FUCKER, is too afraid to move forward in the direction you would like to go, OR she has met someone else. TOOTHRAPIST!!! Tell her that even though your heart is breaking you want her to be happy more than PISS ON ME anything else, and so you will let her PISS ON ME YOU JESUS RAG go if that is what she wants. GOATCUM 2000 Tell her to please return the ring so you can return it to the WHOREHOUSE YOUR MOTHER LIVES IN A WHOREHOUSE FILTHY FILTHY WHORES jewelry store and that you two will go on with your lives. ASSCRACK!!! Tell her that you will always remember BEATING OFF her and what she brought to your SWOLLEN BALLS life and that she showed you HER DICK GWOOOGGAAHHH love while it lasted. Then mail it and lets hope she does the right thing and returns the ring promptly. WHORE WHORE WHORE FILTHY WHORE.

EL TERROR DE FUEGO: ONCE UPON A RINGSIDE EVENT I WAS BATTLING THE EMBITTERED OPPONENT "GENERALCEREBELLUM" THE NOTED WARMAKER FROM UGANDA! HE WAS PREPARING TO DO AN UNHEALTHY EVENT WITH A FOLDING CHAIR ACROSS MY BACKSIDE, WHEN SUDDENLY I REMEMBER A IMPORTANT EVENT WITH MY MOTHER OR PERHAPS LADY SELLING CANCER DEVICE? I DID NOT KNOW.

BUT BEFORE I HAD A RESPONSE, THE FOLDER CHAIR LANDS ACROSS MY BACKSIDE, COLLAPSING ME AS A DRUNKEN VAGRANT WOULD IF HE HAD BEEN ENCOUNTERING A TRAIN ACROSS HIS LEGS. SOON GENERAL CEREBELLUM BEGAN A DANCE IN JOY TO WHICH I RESPONDED WITH A BRAINKICK AND GOUGING OF THE EYE AREA FOR DEFEAT. UPON LATER NOTIFICATION, I LEARN THAT MY ANGER WAS MISDIRECTED TOWARDS THE LADY SELLING CANCER DEVICES AND NOT GENERAL CEREBELLUM, WHO HAD LEFT THE ARENA HOURS BEFOREHAND. SO DO NOT PURCHASE FLOWERS AS THEY COME WITH INSECT MENACES WHO CLAIM PROPERTY WHICH IS NOT RIGHTFULLY THEIRS.

55-GALLON KONG: huh? i dont understand. oh wait i get it, he's lying a lot and you dont trust him or something because he lies all the time over dumb stuff. okay.

well see you have to put his trust to the test. make him prove that hes not a liar like the guy at the walmart who said that colecovision is outdated and theres better stuff out there. i beat that liar with my tail until his skull collapsed. i hate liars. so you have to put his love to the test. go to a construction site and go to the top. then light stuff on fire and throw it at him. if his love is true then he'll be able to avoid the stuff and get to you and a big heart will appear. thats how you know its true love. hes probably a liar like all men are. just like all men he will be defeated in front of my hands. bring your kid and mother too so they can see him suffer. he can try to get that purple floating umbrella but it wont help him. these barrels are full of truth!

REVOLUTIONARY SCARECROW: You have problems. Your boyfriend has problems. You both have problems. I do not. I have no problems. I have solutions. I have an army. I have weapons. I have a tank disguised as hay. I have a grain silo that contains a deadly nerve gas. I am immune to this gas. Your boyfriend is not. I have solutions.