Ask Jeff K. E3 Attack!

From: RukesKewl3
Subject: Can I have some stock tips?

You are "Mr. Smarty Man", so i would like to get some stock tips from you, so i can make the "moneys".

I read this in a movie: BUY LOW SELL HIGH!!! THAT MEANS too buy coffee and sell diamonds. Michale Dogless was in that movie. he used teh INtarnet to sell gold. Then his wife died and teh babysittar cooked rabbits. It was a thriller to teh end! EDGE OF YUOR SEAT EXCITEMENT!!!/ Yuo will wnats too invest in INtel and 3DFX stocks becuase they are on gold road too sucess. Intel makes Pentium 3 and yuo can use teh Internat with MMX technology. AMD is sucks becuase they dont use MMX and use 3DOW! which si infearior too Intel. If yuo dont use Intel, yuo cant get on teh intarnet!!! AND THERES DIRTTY PICTARES ON TEH INTARNET TOO!

From: (R)karbaum
Subject: Something Almost as Awful

Hey Jeff.K I recently found my page because all my buds in comp class were checking it out today, so I went home and checked it out, and I have to applaud you on it. Your page is really fucking funny, new idea, it's great! But I'm asking a little favour of you, I have this new web site recently released and it's all about how to please women. The site has articles on sex techniques, pick up lines, gift idea's, question and answer sections, forums and shit. It's not as funny as your site, but it's still funny. I am personally inviting you to check out the page, cause I know you will LOVE it! Maybe if you really dig the page, and it stands up to the "l33t" standards you could post something about it on your page. So check it out man, and keep up the good work. The site addy is

OPS SOREY I LOST PART OF YUOR EMALE, SORREY FRIEND PLEAS SEND IT AGAIN SO I MAY MAEK LINKS TO YUOR STUPID SIGHT ABOUT PLEASING WOMAN. IF YUO WANTS TOO PLEAS WOMEN, YUO uSE PLASTIC FLOWERS AND SAY "HEY LADY, WANTS TOO SMELL MY FLOWER?!?" THEN SQUIRT HER FACE! THEN PUSH HER DOWN AND RUNs AWAY!!! HA HA HA, WORKS EVARY TIEM!!!

CLICK HERE TOO SEE CLIFFY B. IN NICE SUIT HE SPENT A MONTHES SALAREY ON!

From: levelord@ritual.com
Subject: Lo! `Tis the Levelord beckoning...

Jekk F:

Dude, I thought *I* was leet (see, I can't even spell well) until I found out about you. You're the... ...wait, ...let me try this, but don't laugh if I get it wrong,

...u'R hte shiTe, maan! i haev maid meny, meny, tuns of k00l gmes lick Duck Knuckels and 3coorge of amraguns and 3v3n SiN. i haev evin partyied w/ Jhon da Romerieo and/or sheeken kIllc533k's hadn. Sum dya kan ey3 partiii w/ U?

Levelord.

SHUT UP

From: levelord@ritual.com
Subject: L3t m3 no If U w@nt...

...ant inNRvu w/ teh L3v3l0rd ;)

Levelord.

From: Johnathen Hendross
Subject: Video Cards Review

I got some comments on your review of the NVIDIA cards. You said things like you wanted is glide that NVIDIA doesn't offer. This seems odd mainly because not many games even use that any more Microsofts big push to get developers to use D3D has worked. And now that the XBOX supports d3d and will be released in the future a company that develops a engine using DX will have a title that can be released for the PC and for a consule. Advantages being obvious. More notes ont he nvidia cards. The card does much more that 'you don't need' newer hardware Texture and Lighting algoritms that do not look to be implemented until dx8 as nvidia and microsoft and giving each other head right now. Title being released later this year should take a larger advantage of the items added to the DX7a release. Makeing the NVIDIA card more useful. GLide first of all sucks. The API is not very mature it just kinda tosses polys on the screen. Secondly it is never updated. It has nothing new to offer since it's conception. OpenGL is only useful if you are on a gay SGI .5 million dollar fag box.

– Jeff K.