The Neo Hipster Detective: Villagetown
A simple cheating spouse case leads to murder and conspiracy in Greenwich Village for the Neo Hipster Detective.
DVD Is Better than VHS
Blockbuster’s VHS section is deserted save a few ghosts. A headless lady drifts down a nearby aisle.
Herman Cain's Situation Room
The Cain Train is pulling into the foreign policy station with this comprehensive overview of the geopolitical situation from Herman Cain's campaign.
Please read: A personal appeal from Wikipedia guitarist Dave Mustaine
Wikipedia's guitarist Dave Mustaine joins the appeal for donations to keep Wikipedia running.
29
I Googled ’29.’ I'll admit I was shocked. I know kids are into weird stuff; I was too in my day. My dad never understood it, but he accepted it. When you were born I said I'd do the same. Whether my son was gay, a communist, a rockabilly - I'd live with his choice. But THIS? It violates every rule I was raised by. I can't believe it's not outlawed!
Missed Memoriams: Rooney, Keane, Gaddafi, D
A selection of obituaries we neglected to publish in a timely fashion.
The Webcomic Thief
‘Look,’ I said, putting my hand on his shoulder. ‘Keep the fantasy characters, the orcs and wizards. But use a spaceship instead of a coffee shop. And instead of having them just hang out and talk about RPGs, make them detectives solving space crimes.’ Something behind his eyes flicked on. His face beamed like a sunburst gradient.
Zine: GOON #3
LOOK, a special bonus edition of Goon zine for the scariest, Slenderman-iest day of them all!
The First 48 Hours of Battlefield 3 Statistics
We have turned the first 48 hours of Battlefield 3 usage stats into a handy graphic.
In Memoriam: Steve Jobs
We briefly pay tribute to the departed Apple legend, Steve Jobs.
Your Guide To Fall's New TV Shows
Fall is upon us, and you know what that means. No, not a seasonal change accompanied by the fluttering of red and gold leaves through crisp air that compels you to snuggle up in a blanket and sip hot cocoa from the ear canal of a loved one. It means it's time to read a middling internet humorist's take on Fall's new shows.
5 Mouthwatering Meals to Try Before You Die
These 5 delicious foods are the perfect finish to a miserable life. Scum like you don't deserve these meals, but you get them, because that's the sort of decent people we are.
Real Talk: I Eat People
Straight up, no lie, I will bite you up. I'm not even hungry, I'll just bite you anyway to prove a point. Drain that shit into this sick goblet and note the various flavors of your dumbass blood.
Duke Nukem Forever Will Turn You into a Stripper
This could happen to you! (You are one of the strippers in the background.)
Standard & Poor's Affirms AAA Rating for Narnia
Adding insult to USA downgrade injury, Narnia receives a top-tier credit rating from S&P.
Attention Smurfs! You're Being Smurfed!
We named our new baby Baby Smurf. But Baby Smurf won't be a baby forever. Or WILL HE? Is that how it works?
The Paperboy Diaries
I thought tornadoes were a lot bigger! I guess you don’t need to worry too much about the tiny ones.
It's a Cool, Lonely World
This place is so ugly. All the buildings are made of bones and feces. Maybe I'll go urban-exploring.
6 Sexy Ways to Beat the Heat...
...as your sclerotic homeland collapses into poverty and unrest.
The Neo Hipster Detective: The Maltese Frock Coat
A Hipster Detective is hired by a gun-wielding racist fashion designer to track down a coveted frock coat.
Zine: GOON #2
The printed word isn't dead. It just smells that way because it won't leave the damn basement and get a job.
8 Wild Ways to Spend Summer While a Toddler Decays in Your Trunk
Just because you have a dead two-year-old locked in the trunk doesn't mean you stop having fun.
Michael Richards' Apology
If you're reading this, and you're a six-legged deer, Michael Richards wants you to know he's sorry.
RE: Our Campus's Boulder Problem
It's a stone-cold fact that 90% of boulder attacks are ambushes.
The Neo Hipster Detective: The Dame Wore Vintage
The city was seedy and dangerous, like a creamed sesame clam chowder at a bring-a-soup bar party.
In Memoriam: Randy Savage
Macho Man Randy Savage passes from man into legend.
Rightfully Missed Connections
Talked to you while browsing the manga section. Your opinions on Gunsmith Cats are insufferable. Would love to sit down and explain what "symbolism" and "character arc" really mean, just not when I'm immersed in the latest Excel Saga.
Zine: GOON # 1
It's like an online webzine, one that was lovingly handcrafted on recycled paper in a run of 6, then scanned onto a computer and uploaded onto a web site.
The Case against Freddy Krueger
Behind Mr. Krueger's winning smile and attractive campaign promises lurks a fortress of lies!
Hands-on Exclusive: The Faces of L.A. Noire
Rockstar gave us a chance to sit down with a few cases from the upcoming L.A. Noire and explore the game's incredible facial motion capture system.
Two Days in Summer - Caveat Emptor (Part 6)
Union busting in Michigan escalates with a plot to fake an assassination of the governor.
Farpoint 2011 Report
Paying homage to Will Smith et al.
The Augmented Reality AppStore
Use your smart phone to change the way you see the world. Augmented reality apps available for download now!
Everyday Revenge Fantasies
The girl who rejected your invitation to the prom is sitting in the break room at Waldenbooks …
Two Days in Summer - Holding Action (Part 5)
A misanthropic mercenary is hired to bust unions in Michigan.
Revealing Statistics from 24 Hours of Black Ops
24 hours of statistics collected from Call of Duty: Black Ops multiplayer are presented in a convenient graphical form.
49 Ways to Kill a Dalek
49 effective ways to kill a Dalek, the scourge of the cosmos.
Magic the Gathering: TrendWatch!
In the world of serious Magic the Gathering players, there's nothing worse than being out of touch!
Gaming in the Nixon Years
Magic Oracle Media brings you the most up-to-date reviews of the most out-of-date games. This week we examine Hill Climb, Exidy's Old Time Basketball, and Haunted House and Chopper by Midway.
Taco Bell's Fake Beef Breakdown
Taco Bell responds to accusations of beef counterfeiting by revealing the breakdown of popular menu items.
Requiem for a Fudgesicle
“You start just eating a few fudgesicles, and only at parties, but pretty soon you’re selling them to support your habit. Robbing ice cream stands on the side.” I’m licking the last chocolate off the stick and wishing he’d stop talking because it’s ruining my sugar buzz.
