This Baby Is An Absolute Piece of Shit
I'm so sick of this baby's shit. This baby needs to be put on BLAST.
Let Me Redesign Your Logo
A mermaid lady in a green circle. What about this makes me hungry for a nice cup of joe?
WTF Am I Quarantining About
quarantine is lame.
Y’all Engineers Can’t Pimp My Meme Swag
My meme swagger is unstoppable. The ladies want my penis, and the engineers can't handle my drip.
I Stopped My Childhood Bully with Just Two Words (and I Came to Regret It)
A journey to stop a bully has unintended emotional consequences.
I Have No Chill And I Must Scream (Part 1)
I am Chill. I was not always so. If anger rides you like a hateful steed, then friend, follow my ways.
Designing Your Zen Kitchen
Home cooking doesn’t have to be a chore, it can also free your energies from the husks that bind us.
It is I Who Planted, Within the Mind of Elon Musk, the Imbecilic Idea to Shoot a Car Into Space pt.2 (Part 5)
There we both were, opting to let the free market do what it does best — provide, devoid of scruples, even the most reprehensible and insane services to the extravagantly wealthy.
We Need More Plots to Kill Hitler
Especially Sunrise Elementary School, they need a LOT more plots to kill Hitler
So you're arguing with strangers on the internet
Do you want to use language to confuse, misdirect, and annoy? Do you long to sew chaos and discord in your social media feed? Does the idea of insulting your dearest friends elicit in you a breathy "huzzah!"? You, my friend, have the makings of a fine keyboard warrior, if you're brave enough to face the challenges which await you. . .
My Dad's Long, Painful Death was Unexpectedly Hilarious
Now, I don't mean this in an edgy or mean way. We've all been through the normal stages of grief and there's nothing at all funny about them. But, towards the end of my dad's battle with cancer, there were many extremely abnormal occurrences that made me stop and laugh...
Official Something Awful MERCHANDISE MADNESS!!!
What's cooler than spending your hard-earned cash on a bunch of crap with the sole purpose of turning you into a walking website advertisement? NOTHING, THAT'S WHAT.
Part 2: A Guide to Understanding Ben Garrison's Political Cartoons
Please make this man stop producing comics, because honestly I swear to Christ he is responsible for murdering my goddamn brain.
A Guide to Understanding Ben Garrison's Political Cartoons
The highly complex and detailed world of Ben Garrison's political creations are finally broken down for you, the viewers!
How to PICK UP ANY WOMAN YOU WANT ANY TIME YOU WANT!
Get any woman you want, any time you want, by learning these TOP SECRET 100% GUARANTEED TRICKS THAT WILL WORK ON ANY WOMAN EVER!!!
Unlikely Messages From the Emergency Alert System
You probably will not be seeing any of these alerts, but it's good to be prepared.
A Week in the Life of the Sims 4
Strange things are tiny afoot in the lands of the Sims 4.
THESE 9 CARTOON KIDS AS ADULTS WILL AMAZE YOU
Get your reaction GIFs ready, this clickbait is gonna SHOCK you! SO MUCH. YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT
Memorable Quotes From Hunter S. Thompson's Fear and Loathing at Kotaku
The famed gonzo otaku journalist writes about the death of gaming culture in 2014.
Mike Ditka's Team Name Horseshit Roundup
Former Bears coach Mike Ditka has opinions about more than just the Redskins name.
The Truth About Israel
Are you ready for the truth about Israel? Probably not.
Who is John Galt?
You've been wondering. Now you can finally get the answers about John Galt.
It Is What It Is
We found this sort of orb. Egg maybe? I dunno. It is what it is.
CelebAnswers Presents: The 7 Hottest Celebs Without Make Up
We have made this slideshow of celebrities without make up. Good luck to you.
"Terry Richardson Made Me Grow a Dick" and Other Horror Deeds Done by Terry
A rock and roll fashion photographer being creepy with models? Yes, it can happen. It has happened. The nightmare is real. I'm sorry.
Time is a Squared Circle: Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage are True Detectives
When confronted with a string of dead Nitro Girls, veteran grapplers Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage join forces to solve the crime.
Slenderman Comix
Here are some comics about Slenderman. Have at it, globules.
Address to the Supreme Council of the Illuminati Concerning Youtube User HolkHogan420
Youtube user HolkHogan420 has been systematically exposing all of the Illuminati's plans. He is one step ahead of them at every turn.
What We Found in This Dumpster Will Change the Way You Look at Life
Go on the adventure of a lifetime in your neighborhood dumpster.
Regarding Our Zoo's Rebranding as "The Insane Horror Zoo"
In order to make a brand omelet, you're going to have to break a few giraffes and lions.
The 7 Biggest Upcoming Feels of 2014
You'd better be prepared for the most epic Feels of 2014.
Car Faces From the North American International Auto Show
Cars have faces and they look stupid.
For Male Gamers Only
Gamer? Male? Congratulations, you are wanted to save the kingdom with your balls.
Heavy.com Presents: The 5 Most Droolworthy Pieces of Ass on the House Committee on Armed Services
Heavy.com's horny readers get tipped off on all the hottest action coming out of the House Committee on Armed Services.
You Just Don't Understand Kim John Un Like Me
America's #1 ambassador to Korea takes a shot at explaining his mission of peace and birthday wishes.
The Stupidest Articles from Slate's Matt Yglesias in 2013
We look back on a miserable year of Slate writer and twitter sensation Matt Yglesias.
Introducing the 2014 Hitler of the Year
Who will be named 2014's Hitler? You might just know next year's Hitler better than you think!
The 9 Athlete Logos Changing How You Will Think About Sports
Athletes are helping to boost their brand identity and overall swagger klout with fresh logos from top tier design firms. These 9 logos will blow your brains out through your balls!
Please Allow Me to Explain My Actions As a Sign Language Interpreter
The sign language interpreter from the Mandela memorial tries to explain himself the only way he knows how.
9 Reasons to Be Fairly Fricking Outraged Right About Now
Were you enjoying your day? STOP IT! There is some outrageous crap going on that you need to be mad about immediately.
Excerpts from Mike Tyson's Memoir, "Undisputed Truth"
Mike Tyson's new memoir is a raw account of the life of boxing's most controversial cannibal.Mike Tyson's new memoir is a raw account of the life of one of boxing's most controversial cannibals.
5 Wildest Wedding Fails
You are not going to believe the FAILS of some people on their wedding day.
Welcome to Night Vale Episode 34 - A Beautiful Dream
Welcome to Night Vale returns with a new episode including the work of Zack Parsons.
If Tech Journalists Covered America's Wars
America's fawning tech journalists take a turn at covering America's wars. It's not like anybody else was covering them.
The Chinese Laborer Who Made Donald Glover's Phone Posts Disturbing Instagrams
Stressed out Gambino Donald Glover posted some strangeness to Instagram and he's not the only one.
The 11 Most Amazing Abandoned Places
We count down 11 awe-inspiring abandoned places that you will wish you could see before you die.
The Ultimate Grand Theft Auto V Adrenaline Rush
You have machine gunned hundreds, beaten innocent bystanders to death, fondled creepy boobs, and crashed a dealership's worth of cars. Now what? The ultimate GTA thrill revealed.
Vladimir Putin Op/Ed: You Are a Joke, USA
Russian President Vladimir Putin weighs in on the Syria crisis and America's role in the world.
The Hottest Tech Deals Made at Burning Man 2013
The hottest deals in tech were being made at this year's Burning Man Festival. Find out who what new tech secured big attention from investors.
15 Simple Hacks to Make Your Life Easier
15 helpful hacks so simple you won't believe you have been living without them.
