The 2012 Fashion SWAT Sexy Samhain Showdown

Dr. Thorpenstein: This, on the other hand, is not offensive at all.

Zackula: It's a celebration of Native American culture. Get your hot-bodied squaw to show off her wampum in this eye-catching tribute to Russell Means.

Dr. Thorpenstein: We respect the proud heritage of America's first peoples. You'll be woo-boo-booing around the fire all night in this Pocahottie costume.

Zackula: The only trail you'll be walking is the one that leads to the bedroom.

Dr. Thorpenstein: 100% of proceeds will be donated to Native American scholarship funds when you buy this sexy costume that's guaranteed to make your peace pipe stand at attention.

Zackula: Accessorise with knee-high Roman gladiator boots, a fantasy sorceress torc, and a woolly mammoth thong panty.

Dr. Thorpenstein: Loveum squaw? Bury your tomahawk deep in this sincere, cap-in-hand apology for our colonial oppression of indigenous people.

Zackula: Go as a couple with your man in our bare-chested expansionist white man costume, complete with contract for heap good deal on land, honest.

Dr. Thorpenstein: You'll be breaking hearts AND treaties in our hunky Andrew Jackson ensemble.

Zackula: Manifest your destiny to turn heads this All Hallow's Eve.