The 2012 Fashion SWAT Sexy Samhain Showdown

Zackula: Greetings humanoid. I have arrived from the very sexy planet called 1997.

Zackula: Our blinking shirt technology is advanced far beyond your comprehension.

Dr. Thorpenstein: People of Earth, I am here from a mid-1990s softcore erotica pictorial. Take me to Bob Guccione at once.

Zackula: I have been chugging water the whole way over here and I would really like to get that part of the shoot out of the way.

Dr. Thorpenstein: What is this wonderful thing you Earth people call... pee-ing?

Zackula: On my planet we call it "shibosh" and it is how we reproduce. Here...let me show you earthman.

Dr. Thorpenstein: I must take my leave now, earthman. Your planet needs my wig for a Salt N Pepa video.

Zackula: I do not actually have a ship, just this hallway leading into a juice bar, which is also my home planet.

Zackula: Can you and the camera crew leave? My boss Terry says this is pushing it.

Dr. Thorpenstein: It's depressing to think that if there's intelligent alien life out there, there's a really good chance they'd just come to Earth to work in our sexy juice bar industry.

Zackula: They would arrive on earth as perfect humanoids in form-fitting costumes of advanced polymers and within three years they would all be obese and addicted to pornography.

Zackula: No civilization can match our calorie delivery technologies.

Dr. Thorpenstein: They'd have a few good years working in our booming Johnny Mnemonic Cocktail Bar Scene Extra industry, but after that we're all big McNuggets to them.