1UP Video Game SWAT

Dave: Now, see, shit like this is why I don't even play video games anymore. What kind of a madcap addie-popping Japanese pedophile designed THIS Technicolor fruitcake?

Zack: I don't even know exactly what I'm looking at. Is that part with the green the top or the bottom? Is it some sort of robot?

Dave: I think the glowing part must be its eye or something, but I can't make heads or tails of this psychedelic nightmare.

Zack: It's certainly a reminder that I'm getting too old to play video games. Like, older than five and not brain damaged and suuuuuuuuper questionable in a sexual sense.

Dave: This insane fucking picture is a pure reefer madness odyssey to the furthest reaches of the human mind. I just ran up and touched the wall of the haunted house, bro. I just went over the fucking swingset.

Zack: This is what it feels like to die, to have all your reality fade from darkness into a shimmery kaleidoscope of misfiring neurons, to have pure phosphene nightmare-things populate your shrinking inner space. Until you are a single brilliant point, pulsing with your past lives, memories and all you ever were.

Dave: Some scientists speculate that what we know as consciousness is naught but a modulated psychedelic experience brought on by the naturally-occurring DMT in the deepest reaches of our brain. Seeing this crazy whatever-it-is must somehow tap into our pineal gland reserve of The Spirit Molecule and just flip our wigs totally inside out, maybe forever.

Zack: I can't answer you. I exist only as energy now David.