Warhammer 40,000 Core Rules (5th Edition)

Eldar

Steve: Eldar are space elves and their armies use a lot of specialty troops called aspect warriors. They can be difficult for beginners to play and paint, but you can make some of the most powerful armies.

Zack: Some day some real alien civilization is going to sift through the rotting remains of mankind and come to the conclusion that elves were just another one of our ethnic groups.

Steve: I hope these aliens have the ability to shape the wraithbone.

Zack: Give me a couple of union guys with pipes and we'll shape some fucking wraithbone.

Tau

Zack: The Tau are one of the newer armies geared towards people who like anime robots and space communism.

Steve: I think Tau are pretty cool, but all of the grumpy graybeards at my local shop hate the Tau.

Zack: Most of those guys hate baths and walking places. They do have a point though, how did Macross here end up in the realm of shrieking robo skulls and S&M demons?

Steve: How did Crocodile Dundee end up in New York? Some things will just have to remain a mystery.

Zack: Newsday writer Sue Charlton invited Mick "Crocodile" Dundee to accompany her to New York after they shared a kiss in the Australian Outback. So now you answer my question.

Steve: You call that an AP value? That's not an AP value? THIS is an AP value. *Brandishes railgun*

Zack: I am ashamed and disgusted you made that joke. I would like to apologize to our readers and state for the record, and with the utmost sincerity: Steve, I hope you drown in a septic tank.