Steve: Well, that's that I guess!
Zack: Not so fast! We've got to tell these people what they won!
Steve: Well then do it! Before people call you a jerk!
Zack: 6th, 5th, 4th, and 3rd place will receive an autographed copy of Your Next-Door Neighbor is a Dragon. Our 2nd place winner will receive this as well as your copy of Monster Manual, which you have drawn a picture inside.Steve: SalmonFlavoredTuna is getting a picture of a Beholder.
Zack: Way to spoil the surprise!
Steve: We need to stop being so mean to each other. Keith told me I have been storing a lot of anger since I started doing these columns with you. You're too angry.Zack: The grand prize championship victory winner will receive an autographed copy of Your Next-Door Neighbor is a Dragon, an autographed copy of My Tank is Fight!, a copy of the greatest novel ever written, a quintuple XL Rifts t-shirt from Palladium, and a $50 Amazon gift card.
Steve: That means you, Gnap!Zack: Winners should contact me via SA Forums PM with their name and mailing address and what they would like their autograph to say.
Steve: "TO A JERK WHO WON A JERK CONTEST" Signed, "A. JERK."
Zack: If you don't have PMs then you can email me at zackparsons@somethingawful.com.
Steve: Congratulations to all the jerk winners and condolences to all the jerk losers. I hope you guys, like, trip and almost fall over, but catch yourself with your hand, but then it scrapes your hand a little bit. Jerks.
Zack: I think you guys and gals are all pretty awesome and thanks for participating in our contest!
–
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Warhammer 40,000 Core Rules (5th Edition)
- Rifts World Book Japan
- Dungeons & Dragons: The Book of Wondrous Inventions
- Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: 1st Edition Fiend Folio (part 2)
- Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: 1st Edition Fiend Folio (part 1)
