Steve: Whoa, my boner doesn't know what to do!
Zack: I bet Blibdoolpoolp doesn't practice the best hygiene on her 20' tall lady parts. Zebra mussels and diatoms and shit falling out of there like a bad Christmas stocking.
Steve: Seriously, this is causing me issues.
Zack: It does say one of her special attacks is "Insanity."
Steve: It's like this one time at work there was this Mexican girl who was really hot, but then I found out her name from the schedule and it was the exact same as my mom's name.
Zack: Well, what's your mom's name?
Steve: Ecarnación.
Zack: I guess at least it isn't Blibdoolpoolp.
Steve: How does that help me with my problem?
Zack: There's only one way to help you with that. I tell you what, you get the +2 or better weapon and I'll get the drawn butter.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Dungeons & Dragons: 1st Edition Monster Manual (part 2)
- Dungeons & Dragons: 1st Edition Monster Manual (part 1)
