Steve: You walk into a room of amazing orbs. These are the finest orbs you've ever beheld. There's a door on the other wall. The orbs are glowing all different colors and pulsing with light and hanging from the ceiling. It looks like a pretty nice place to stay and maybe have fun. There are some weird looking dudes with strange hair and green skin.
Zack: Eurotrash. I knew I shouldn't have come to this club.
Steve: You think they're troglodytes. They're jealously guarding their orbs.
Zack: Troglodytes is a pejorative. They prefer, "subterranean hate humanoids." I'm going to walk towards the door and talk loudly about how lame orbs are and how much I don't care about orbs.
Steve: They don't speak your language.
Zack: Maybe they speak THIS language: gaseous form.
Steve: They start freaking out and making booing sounds. A couple of them use their shields like fans to try to keep you away from the orbs.
Zack: I'm not interested in their stupid orbs. They can have them. I'm going to slip under that door fogwise.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Marvel Super Heroes' Monster Manual: Volume One (Part 2)
- Marvel Super Heroes' Monster Manual: Volume One (Part 1)
- The Fantastic Artwork of Frank Frazetta
- The 10 Reasons We Will Never Review F.A.T.A.L.
- More Lost Treasures of the AD&D 2nd Edition Monstrous Compendium
Suggested Articles
- Dungeons & Dragons: The Book of Wondrous Inventions
- Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: 1st Edition Fiend Folio (part 1)
- Dungeons & Dragons: Dungeon Module S3 "Expedition to the Barrier Peaks"
- Dungeons & Dragons: Dungeon Module S1 "Tomb of Horrors"
- [Mature] Exalted's Most Mature Content (A Mature Article) for Matures Only
