Steve: You see a muddy lake ahead of you and you see this super fine green lady pop up out of the lake. Her rack is totally out and she's beckoning you to join her in a passionate embrace of pure erotic pleasure.
Zack: After fighting my way through a nightmare dungeon designed to punish innocent skeletons I sure am tempted to jump in a mud hole with a green woman.
Steve: Maybe this will change your mind: she casts a powerful charm spell on you. You are lured towards her big rack.
Zack: Don't I at least get a save versus gross, creepy lady in creepy, gross places?
Steve: No! You want to dive down into the lake with her and do it forever!
Zack: "Sorry, toots. I'm married." I show her my skeleton ring.
Steve: She screams in defeat before the might of unholy matrimony and disappears beneath the lake.
Zack: Good thing her intelligence is low. It was an open relationship.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Marvel Super Heroes' Monster Manual: Volume One (Part 2)
- Marvel Super Heroes' Monster Manual: Volume One (Part 1)
- The Fantastic Artwork of Frank Frazetta
- The 10 Reasons We Will Never Review F.A.T.A.L.
- More Lost Treasures of the AD&D 2nd Edition Monstrous Compendium
Suggested Articles
- Dungeons & Dragons: The Book of Wondrous Inventions
- Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: 1st Edition Fiend Folio (part 1)
- Dungeons & Dragons: Dungeon Module S3 "Expedition to the Barrier Peaks"
- Dungeons & Dragons: Dungeon Module S1 "Tomb of Horrors"
- [Mature] Exalted's Most Mature Content (A Mature Article) for Matures Only
