"Mom Jeans 3000 AD"
Zack: This is probably the most realistic picture of the future in any Traveller book.
Steve: Computers telling fat moms they're broke.
Zack: The computers are going to eventually tell everyone they're broke. Then we'll be their slaves.
Steve: I'd be okay with that. Computers would probably make pretty good slavemasters.
Zack: Only for as long as you're useful to them. Once you break a leg they start running the actuarial calculations. Before you know it you're on the death heap at the bottom of the death pit.
Steve: But I bet you that water pail is always handy when you're thirsty.
Zack: The computer would make you drink your pee a couple times until your kidneys can't process it anymore. Only then will you get more water.
Steve: Dang, computer is a beast. I'm going to escape.
Zack: Escape to where? All of mankind is enslaved by the computers. If you do escape you'll only find more computers.
Steve: I can turn into a computer!
Zack: Does this involve escaping from a cartoon by pounding on walls and willing yourself into a computer?
Steve: Maybe...
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Warhamer 40,000: Rogue Trader (part two)
- Warhamer 40,000: Rogue Trader (part one)
- Dungeons & Dragons: Dungeon Module S3 "Expedition to the Barrier Peaks"
- Street Fighter: Contenders (The Street Fighter Monster Manual)
- Street Fighter the Storytelling Game Core Rulebook
