Zack: Whew, good thing I wore my dodgin' pants!
Steve: Man is he in good shape. Maybe being a vampire is like being in prison and you've got so much free time all you do is work out.
Zack: Yeah, not much else to do. Once you tear through thousands of years of human knowledge and have sex with about 1,000 women you probably just say screw it and start doing crunches.
Steve: That's what happened with Charles Barkley. Ironically, when he went to jail he got fat.
Zack: Charles Barkley didn't go to jail, he went to that creepy Arizona concentration camp that fascist Joe Arpaio guy runs where he dresses convicts in pink diapers and makes them sleep on rocks like lizards.
Steve: Is that a twink dungeon?
Zack: You're getting warmer.Steve: You would sleeping on rocks all day.
Zack: And pissing up your dipie like a bad jailbaby.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- The Original Dungeons & Dragons
- Dorkiest Mechs of 3025 (Battletech)
- WTF, Traveller Art!?
- Warhamer 40,000: Rogue Trader (part two)
- Warhamer 40,000: Rogue Trader (part one)
