The Original Dungeons & Dragons

Zack: That wraith is way not into this. "I've got a sword, but if you want me to actually swing it around that is going to cost extra."

Steve: He reminds me of this crossing guard that works the crosswalk every morning for the kids by my house. I don't know what his deal is, but he's always cocking his hip to one side and holding the sign all lazy. He also wears hoodies, so I guess pretty much if his eyes could glow that would be dead on.

Zack: WRAITH AND ASPARAGUS ELEMENTAL.

Steve: I thought you said Asperger's Elemental.

Zack: I think you mean Autism Spectrum Elemental. Either way, that would be horrifying.

Steve: You would have to conjure it from the negative energy plane.

Zack: Composed of a churning column of Legos and Gamefaqs arguments, his attacks include failure to empathize, watch some anime, watch some more anime, mom I want fucking pizza, and a blistering critique of any female party members' physiques.

Steve: Those dudes do not have any idea what to do with babes.

Zack: Oh, they have ideas, and they're uploading them to their B/T/K blog.