Steve: "It says here that you spent six years as the Doom Initiative's Head of Terrorism. How do you think that applies to selling sporting equipment?"
Zack: Calling him a firecracker ready to explode seems to diminish him. Holiday poppers don't seem like Head of Terrorism material.
Steve: Then you haven't seen the Fourth of July fire department safety videos I have. That child mannequin burned to a molten heap.
Zack: It should have known better than to mess with *flips cape* Phantom Panther!
Steve: After he swings away dramatically his posture slouches and he walks over to his Sentra and drives back to his job selling Karate Gis and athletic cups to fat kids.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- D&D's Scariest Monsters (1977-1983)
- Gary Gygax's Cyborg Commando (1987)
- Changeling: The Dreaming (1997)
- Steve's Next Top Module Contest Winners
- Mummy: The Resurrection (2001)
