Zack: It goes on to describe Hyperion Juicers spreading butter on pizzas and eating fried lard. Pretty standard fare for a Rifts player based on the 5XL shirts in the Palladium store.
Steve: I wish I had MIV I would eat nothing but pancakes and milkshakes!
Zack: I would buy a turkey deep-frying pot and cook a whole cake in it.
Steve: You ever seen that giant hamburger that weighs like 30 pounds? I would make that, but instead of buns it would be between two deep dish pizzas and instead of cheese it would have rocky road ice cream on it.Zack: "I sure could go for another donut burrito!" - Julian Sweatpants, First of the Mega Gulpers.
Steve: What happens when MIV progresses to ATES? Do you die because you can't keep up with snacking?
Zack: That's what the Coalition wants you to believ. There is no proven link.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Magic the Gathering: Alpha (original set, 1993)
- Heroes Unlimited (1984/1993)
- Space: 1889 (1988)
- Rifts Worldbook 20: Canada (1999)
- The Art of Werewolf: The Apocalypse (1990s)
