Zack: I think I've seen this kid's Youtube videos.
Steve: Beanman. He is a bean plus an old man. The powers of a bean with an old man's body.
Zack: Sounds unstoppable.
Steve: He will regulate your digestion.
Zack: Jorts and sandals and what appears to be a shower curtain hanging from one arm.
Steve: This is how he absorbs your mind energy to become younger. He's like a vampire Benjamin Button.
Zack: So a vampire only with mind energy.
Steve: I just saw Benjamin Button last night. Have you seen it?Zack: No.
Steve: It's pretty much the same movie as Forest Gump only you're supposed to cry all through it but I was rolling up some characters for D20 Star Wars so I didn't get too upset.
Zack: Your life is an adventure, Steve.
Steve: No, that will be this weekend when the group has to infiltrate an Imperial mining colony to steal dimidium drill tips for Lando.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Lost Treasures of the AD&D 2nd Edition Monstrous Compendium
- The World of Synnibarr (1993)
- The Art of Vampire: The Masquerade (1990s)
- The Original Dungeons & Dragons
- Dorkiest Mechs of 3025 (Battletech)
