Zack: The original fat vampire, here to protest Scientology. For teh brain lulz ftw.
Steve: Call forth a flock of seagulls? What the hell kind of vampire is this?
Zack: Um, some vampires happen to appreciate real art. Are you familiar with anime?
Steve: Yes and also vampires and this dude does not seem like a vampire.
Zack: Weaknesses include alcohol (he prefers to stay in control of his faculties, thank you very much), girlfriends (ugh vapid much??), mirrors when naked, mom and dad's religious bullshit being rammed down his throat (deal with my atheism), and Scientology.
Steve: These guys must be multiplying.
Zack: I have lived for a thousand years and I plan to live my next thousand as a Na'vi from Pandora so I will expect you to take my fandom seriously and not persecute me.
Steve: If you have a blog you are a lousy vampire.
Zack: Words hurt, Steve. In fact, I am adding words to my weaknesses list.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- The World of Synnibarr (1993)
- The Art of Vampire: The Masquerade (1990s)
- The Original Dungeons & Dragons
- Dorkiest Mechs of 3025 (Battletech)
- WTF, Traveller Art!?
