Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Monster Manual II (part 2)

Zack: Pay attention, folks. Furries existed before the Internet.

Steve: Every female monster in D&D charms men and either kills them during sex or turns them into slaves.

Zack: Theoretically, that's totally awesome. In practice...

Steve: In practice...even more awesome. You just gotta rely on dice rolling more. I made up a couple charts so you can just roll up the sex. Hang on, let me get it out.

Zack: No! Put away whatever it is you're getting out!

Steve: Uh-oh, you rolled a one. Fox woman just did a deuce on your face.

Zack: What's save versus scat?

Steve: My friend, there is no saving throw versus the dook. The best you can do is try to throw yourself out of the way and hope for half damage.

Zack: I'm running out of there!

Steve: You run out and there's an owlbear waiting for you.

Zack: That's better.

Steve: He's not wearing pants.

Zack: Oh god!

Steve: Rolled one again! He's regurgitating a goblin pellet onto your face.

Zack: I would find this a lot funnier if I didn't somewhere, deep down, believe you really do have this chart.

Steve: Deep down you say? There's a separate chart for that. Uh, rolled a one again. The Morkoth screeches and pulls down its capri pants.