Marvel Super Heroes' Monster Manual: Volume One (Part 1)

Steve: Hmmmmmmmmmm, He uses a "prisoner's ball-and-chain" as a weapon. I wonder why they stopped using huge metal balls attached to chains in real prisons.

Zack: Too many inmates got stuck in closing doors.

Steve: Damage to stairways.

Zack: Someone might end up pregnant with a cannonball.

Steve: Prisoners don't need giant metal balls and chains for weapons. I saw this show called Lock Up where this guy somehow made a knife in his toilet.

Zack: Yeah, happens to me whenever I hork down the nachos. If you don't chew tortilla chips enough about eight hours later they feel like ninja stars getting blasted out of a shotgun.

Steve: My point is if they were worried about them using ball-and-chains as weapons they shouldn't have bothered banning them if dudes can make knives out of a toilet.

Zack: It's a slippery slope. First they take the punitive morning stars, then they take the toilet knives, and then before you know it we aren't allowed to bring our scoped AR-15s to the Obama rally anymore like is in the Constitution.

Steve: Did I say yet that this guy looks like a cross between a snake and a penis?

Zack: I think I remember that Punnet square from biology class. Cross the Midnight Oil lead singer with a pair of snakeskin pants and three out of four times you end up with Absorbing Man, the super villain best-equipped to deal with large spills.