Zack: Donning a skull necklace and a warlock's collar and then failing to cast a spell is like wearing one of those high-tech swimsuits all the Americans had at the 2010 Olympics and then you jump in the pool and start thrashing around and yelling for the lifeguard.
Steve: I miss the warlock's collar.
Zack: Yes, I also miss three weeks in 1922 when Aleister Crowley convinced several minor lords attending a buggery fest in an abandoned nunnery that capes with collars were sure indications of virility.
Steve: Yeah, sure, you scoff now, but all it takes is the right person in Japan playing scream-rockabilly and wearing a warlock collar and before you know it everyone on TV is wearing one.
Zack: Reality TV could use a dose of gothic melodrama.
Steve: And discussions about potions.
Zack: Ron Ron Juice qualifies as a potion.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Heroes Unlimited (1984/1993)
- Space: 1889 (1988)
- Rifts Worldbook 20: Canada (1999)
- The Art of Werewolf: The Apocalypse (1990s)
- Dungeons & Dragons Christmas Elf Retrospective
