Zack: Why does that short, fat dude have orb hands?
Zack: And why isn't that woman wearing any pants?
Steve: These are alien species that have evolved beyond the need for pants and hands.
Zack: I wonder what sort of environment naturally selects for orb hands. Giant bowling alley, possibly, or a megalopolis built as a sentient pinball table.
Steve: Maybe their only form of transportation is old-timey cannons.
Zack: Aliens look suspiciously like elves.
Steve: What about that dog or kangaroo dude with the big tail? Not an elf.Zack: At least he hasn't evolved beyond the need for pants.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Space: 1889 (1988)
- Rifts Worldbook 20: Canada (1999)
- The Art of Werewolf: The Apocalypse (1990s)
- Dungeons & Dragons Christmas Elf Retrospective
- More Art of Vampire: The Maquerade (1990s)