Dungeons & Dragons Module B3: "Palace of the Silver Princess" (Part 1)

Zack: Ancient prophecy of a legend foretells of a beautiful princess named Argenta who long ago had a palace and in it she had a magnificent ruby as large as an apple. Then the princess had a party and a creepy dude who came to steal the ruby was eyeballing her ravishing curves. Then some dwarves died and a dragon burned everything and there might have been a man riding the dragon.

Steve: Tell me more about this fine princess. Is she ready to do it?

Zack: She disappeared long ago. No one knows what happened.

Steve: Ah man, so where is Yngwulf?

Zack: You are sitting in a tavern eating owl pie.

Steve: I am going to push aside the owl pie with a bellow of Northman's fury and get upon the table and begin to romantically shred licks from my guitar to influence the loins of any receptive wench.

Zack: Everyone in the tavern stops what they are doing and watches in awe. By the way, only men work in this tavern. The tavern called The Pipelayer's Folly.

Steve: Is this a gay tavern?

Zack: Extremely.

Steve: I will finish the song I am shredding entitled Lusty Demon's Hollow Blood Bones because I don't want to offend anyone and then I'm going to get down off the table.

Zack: After you are done shredding you sit back down and one of the waiters comes over and he seems very friendly.

Steve: "Hail and well met, gay sir. I am a traveling adventurer in search of inspirations for my next album. Do you know of any adventures in the vicinity to which I can apply my metal wrath?"

Zack: "Is it a gay album?"

Steve: I had not really considered the gayness of the album. Does he mean gay in the Journey sense or gay in the dudes feeling up dudes sense?

Zack: Both. He informs you that a great treasure is hidden in the ruined Palace of the Silver Princess. He also tells you that the last descendant of the Princess, Lady D'hmiss, has promised a reward to anyone who can bring her that giant ruby. She is the Baroness of Gulluvia, that land you are in.

Steve: It sounds like just the sort of lead I am looking for! I bellow, "Thank you, your gayness, might I trouble you for directions to the Palace of the Silver Princess?"

Zack: He gives you directions to the north, but he refers to landmarks you aren't familiar with.

Steve: I will nod like I pretend I know what landmarks he is talking about and then go outside and immediately forget all of his directions. Then I am setting off north, most heroic of directions!

Zack: The Adventure Commenceth!