The Immortals Handbook: Epic Bestiary

Steve: More epic equals bigger than.

Zack: Allllright, you're up against a tarantula the size of an asteroid. Let me just roll up its 33,000 hit dice.

Steve: Yeah, uh, some of these stats seem like he just got obsessed with exponential numbers or something and went to town without considering the reality of them.

Zack: Okay, the tarantula rolls to hit you...and...I rolled a 19 and subtract...8,192...I....

Steve: Well he would be crazy strong so the tarantula would have all sorts of bonuses so I bet you could figure out a way to cancel them out.

Zack: Hang on. The chart is ridiculous, but can we take a second to talk about the font used for all the section headers:

Steve: It's an epic font.

Zack: Hey, Craig Cochrane: burn in hell. This is the worst font I have ever seen and I have seen a font made out of ninjas and one made out of weed leaves. This is some font bullshit.

Steve: It is a little hard to read.

Zack: Oh, you think? I literally cannot read the names of some of these monsters. They have dumb gibberish names to begin with, did he need to encode them in his doubled-up garbage font?

Steve: Maybe it's like saying that at a certain level you are omnipotent so you can read anything.

Zack: I would rather see this whole book printed in Comic Sans.

Steve: Now, hold on, let's not be hyperbolic here.

Zack: Alright, well let's have "Ia GiLiaNCE IaT ThIE KOSMOS" according to Harry Helvetica:

Steve: I get it. It's like, the dark matter dimension or something.

Zack: Don't be nice. Craig doesn't deserve it. He took the cosmology of D&D, which is already stupidly complicated, and rearranged everything to his personal liking, adding in extra dimensions, a bunch of jargon, and all sorts of bullshit with the coherence of a steam-of-consciousness Aeon Flux fanfiction.

Steve: It's called "creativity."

Zack: No, it's called a headache, and everything this guy is doing is giving it to me.