Steve: Down here all the fish is happy, as off through the waves they roll. The fish on the land ain't happy, because there are freakin' monsters all over the place.
Zack: Her bustle is rated to 50 meters. Deeper than that and you risk blowing a hoop and imploding her bloomers.
Steve: I'd implode her bloomers, if you know what I'm saying.
Zack: I doubt you even know what you're saying.
Steve: Sometimes I wish i could hang out underwater. You know, just be like a fish person or something. Like a merman.
Zack: Oh, definitely, because what could be better than escaping from this nightmare of comfort and relaxing in a lightless realm of cold where everything is horrible and wants to eat you.
Steve: I just want to jam out with Sebastian the crab.Zack: Sure, he'll jam out. Because he wants to kill you and eat the jam out of your eyeballs.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- The Questionable Art of BattleTechnology Magazine
- Achtung! Cthulhu Adventure: Catch-666 (Part 3)
- The Winners of the "Hard Ticket to Baghdad" Art Contest
- Achtung! Cthulhu Adventure: Catch-666 (Part 2)
- Achtung! Cthulhu Adventure: Catch-666 (Part 1)
