Zack: Or carry one flashlight.
Steve: An x-ray flashlight?
Zack: Okay, maybe that one is sort of cool, but it's not worth getting rid of your balls over. Not even if you get the most phallic laser rifle I've ever seen.
Steve: Techno sunglasses dude. You can like watch the big game and look through a babe's shirt and calculate where to shoot a laser blast to collapse a bridge onto a bug legion.
Zack: Sure and after 20 years, after the bugs win and enslave all of mankind, the surviving cyborg commandos find out the techno glasses caused brain tumors.
Steve: Their chest is an x-ray machine.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Changeling: The Dreaming (1997)
- Steve's Next Top Module Contest Winners
- Mummy: The Resurrection (2001)
- 3rd Edition Dungeons & Dragons: Monster Manual IV
- Lamentations of the Flame Princess: Grindhouse Edition (2011)
