Zack: Alright, I know you didn't read it again, but seriously I want to hear you defend a 300-word argument for picking metric measurements when playing the game.
Steve: I'm not defending that. I prefer to use nothing but TV measurement analogies. Football fields, VW Bugs, Empire State Buildings, school buses and grains of rice.
Zack: The extraterrestrials section mentioned above is where we learn that the xenoborgs are coming to earth to steal our resources and loot our cities of works of art and durable goods. Aliens traveled through alternate dimensions and the immensity of space to commit a home invasion on our planet.
Steve: They're giant bugs. What do they know about art?
Zack: They know what they like.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Changeling: The Dreaming (1997)
- Steve's Next Top Module Contest Winners
- Mummy: The Resurrection (2001)
- 3rd Edition Dungeons & Dragons: Monster Manual IV
- Lamentations of the Flame Princess: Grindhouse Edition (2011)
