Steve: Bjork dreams of firefighters.
Zack: *in fairy child voice* Eenchanted eenferno, hoses on my mech. So much foam from my cannon...shooman beings saved.
Steve: Bjork kicks down a door and carries out a coughing child.Zack: "Aaaaaaaalllllll take you to my tree house, Aaaaaallll raise you as my baby...boy."
Steve: I have a feeling the number for the Bjork fire department is like 500 digits and you have to dial it exactly right.
Zack: And she only answers the phone for like an hour every year on an equinox.
Steve: So it's a lot like not having a fire department.
Zack: Hooonnnnnly, much more eeeen-chant-ing.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Achtung! Cthulhu Adventure: Catch-666 (Part 3)
- The Winners of the "Hard Ticket to Baghdad" Art Contest
- Achtung! Cthulhu Adventure: Catch-666 (Part 2)
- Achtung! Cthulhu Adventure: Catch-666 (Part 1)
- RIP the Ultimate Warrior, Cosmic Horror Fighter
