Nuts and Gum

EDUCATION N' SUCHIf you've been following the ongoing saga of my Daily Dirt, you would have remembered my last entry where I proposed that I would send my Restoration Lit parody to the professor who teaches that very subject. I did, and while the wait for his reply was excruciating, he did put a little comment about the article on my final research paper. I believe it was something like, "I enjoyed the piece about the time traveling rapper" or "You have made a mockery of this institution and all that it stands for, blunderbusses at dawn you knave!" But I'm pretty sure it was the first one. I really would have liked to hear more in-depth comments from him about it, but maybe I should be happy that he at least acknowledged my humor jokes. The important thing about all of this is that I passed his class, along with all of the other classes in the horrid spring semester.

Now, if you've been following all of the clues I've carefully laid out over the past 5 months, you've probably figured out that I am an English major. Before you think to yourselves "HURRR what, are you going to get a job at the English Factory after you graduate" I just want to let you know that I wrote over 100 pages of material in the last 3 weeks of the semester, which has made me irritable enough to make someone swallow a marble. That may not sound so bad, but afterwards I will help this person find the marble. With a melon baller.

GAMEZZZ

E3 happened recently, and I've been avoiding the news because every retard and their retarded webcomic/podcast/Starfox fanfiction has made one million terrible Wii jokes. I think the Wii looks pretty good, especially since I hardly have any time to play games. What little I've been getting from GameFly has been pretty boring, and I've found myself playing through old games instead of getting excited about new ones. As part of my disorder, I've been replaying the Monkey Island series from the beginning, and I'm currently on the second game where the puzzles seem to dick you over moreso than in any other LucasArts adventure. Although part three is still my favorite, MI2 is still interesting, despite some pixel-hunting puzzles that you need to rent a falcon (or a gameFAQ) to figure out. I'm hoping to make it through part four, which truly was the death rattle of classic adventure games. I never finished this one, mainly because it proves that poor sales didn't kill adventure games, adventure games killed adventure games. Not my quote, but still tragic.

On that depressing note, let's take a look at the Daily Dirt mailbag!

I am still bitter about Kingdom Hearts 2 and Lisa has helped me work through my feelings in her 9,000 word essay.

Tim also helped add to my hate-based enjoyment.

I work in a game store in town, and to be fair, many of the people I've seen buying it are fat 12 year old girls that all own the same green Fallout Boy shirt. So, look on the brightside...you're finally in the minority of the game-buying public simply based on you being a male. That NEVER happens.

Keep on rocking in the free world,
Tim A.

My sick sad ego is powered only by the praise of others! If you would like to send e-mail to bobservo@somethingawful.com, you may just find yourself incriminated on the next non-mandatory installment of... THE DIRT!

– Bob "BobServo" Mackey