Daily SWAT: "Dapper Dog"

Dr. Thorpe: After a few days of really disturbing dog costumes I was expecting another day of heartbreak, but I gotta admit, this one is doing it for me. This doesn't even look like a costume, I think that little motherfucker just plays it strictly formal.

Zack: It looks like today is, "Dog in a tuxedo reacts to Two Girls, One Cup."

Dr. Thorpe: I'm thinking the dog actually looks kind of gratified and delighted, but I guess dogs do eat their own poop all the time so that video would be like Food Network to them.

Zack: I wonder if this dog has a dog friend he looks down on that refuses to get dressed up, walks around in sweatpants and a wolf t-shirt. The kind of dog that leaves hot pocket wrappers in between couch cushions.

Zack: I'm talking a really low class sort of dog. Maybe our dog has a bet with another fancy dog to teach that slovenly dog how to live like a gentleman.

Dr. Thorpe: This dog does not concern himself with the affairs of the common dog, and this dog most certainly does NOT engage in gambling.

Zack: I disagree! He looks to be exactly the sort of debonair rake who won his fortune rolling squeaky dice in Monte Carlo and will lose it one day on a friendly bet with a dachshund.

Dr. Thorpe: Yeah, maybe you're right. I guess he does have the kind of greedy-for-life gleam in his eye that's been bred out of haughtier gentleman dogs

Dr. Thorpe: You can't even take this dog out for a walk, because a nude dog is as shocking to him as a nude person on the street would be to us. If you took him for a walk he'd just get really offended and refuse to poop.

Zack: I can sympathize. Seeing a man nude and defecating next to a tree would be scandalous, but I go back to those videos that got Max Hardcore in trouble.

Zack: Of course by "next to a tree" I mean "on a crying teenager."

Dr. Thorpe: And by "Max Hardcore" you mean "us."