What Can't you Do?

On October 30th, a fateful thread was posted by Dysfuncti_1 in the General Bullshit forum with the captivating title of "What Can't you Do?" His entire post was:

I can not:

Roll my R's.

I would therefore make a bad:

Swedish speaking person.

HURRRR. Usually if someone posts inane garbage like this they are ridiculed into obscurity or self-immolation, but for some reason a landslide of comedy and terror followed when the goons came in to add their own mad phat (lack of) skillz to the list. This is their story.

IndyPunkOne:

I can not:
lick my own balls

Therefore, I would make a poor:
Hermit

Keshik:I can't: get a date.Therefore, I make a bad: Person.

Maxim_hF:

I can not:
Lick my nose

Therefore i would make/am a bad:
boyfriend, husband, lover, porn star

ummel:

I can not:
Swim.

I would therefore make a bad:
Haitian.

Iridium:

I can not:
Stop jacking off.

Therefore I would make a bad:
Clergyman.