Screenshots Don't Lie: Adam's Venture

One intriguing repercussion of the universal acceptance of video games as art is that games are now subject to the critical theory "Death of the Author," which posits that an artist's original intent is only one possible interpretation. For example, the creators of "Adam's Venture" bill it as a family-friendly action game, but Palpek's play-through (posted on the SA Forums) revealed the real story!

Praise The Lord! My name is Adam Venture and I thank The Lord for everything he created every single day but especially for creating me in all my awesomeness and smarts.

To kick things off and put you right in my adventurous shoes, here I am explaining something obvious to my sidekick and future girlfriend wife Evelyn Appleby:

We have so much in common! This dynamic I'm setting between us is going to get me laid married in no time.

Anyway - God embarked us both on a holy mission to fight Satan in the horrendous form of Tan Hitler:

And he's out to steal the Garden of Eden. Whatever, Hitleresque John Waters: If Satan had a face, it would look like yours. I'm stopping your comically irrational snaky plan.

This whole Bible talk reminds me of all the subtle Christian puns lurking within this story. ADAM and EVElyn. Get it? ADAM VENTURE as in AD...VENTURE and EVElyn APPLEby together looking for GARDEN OF EDEN? Mmm? Eh? Rings a bell? Sex? Huh? ADAM and EVE had sex got married in the GARDEN. Alright? Meh, don't worry about it. It's all complicated Bible stuff.

Let's go back to talking about me, shall we? I have many God-given unnatural talents that could help us on our mission. Like walking on air:

...or becoming a living torch next to TNT crates:

But what I thank the Almighty Lord the most for are my fully modeled 3D BALLS (God forbid it's nothing sexual):

Can you imagine how epic it would be if I were...say...a video game character and somebody hung the third-person camera right behind my back and lowered it exactly to my balls' height? As a player those things would be hanging in front of your face every time I crouched in a low ceiling corridor! Which is what I walk through all the time in these pagan lands! Haha think about a crazy idea like that.